Mrs. Sangster on Etiquette, 1904

This is a primer of manners designed to make ladies and gentlemen of us all. In her preface, Mrs. Sangster describes it as being like Jack Horner’s historic Christmas pie, and always yielding its plum to the reader who opens its covers. 

GOOD MANNERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

A Practical Manual, By Margaret E. Sangster

New York:
This is a primer of manners designed to make ladies and gentlemen of us all. In her preface, Mrs. Sangster describes it as being like Jack Horner’s historic Christmas pie, and always yielding its plum to the reader who opens its covers. 

Certain things she overlooks; for instance, she leaves one sadly at sea as to the etiquette of card parties, dances, etc... because she says so many people are divided as to their places as amusements at all; neither does she speak authoritatively upon the question of wines at the table, etc..., since she considers all alcoholic beverages as lying strictly within the domain of a reputable physician. Otherwise her field is as wide and varied as the most exacting student of manner could wish for.

Under table manners, one learns that he should not make a noise while eating, that his chair should not be placed too close to the table, neither too far away; that he should not express a decided preference for any particular article of food unless requested to do so; that it is not elegant to tuck one's napkin under one’s chin; that except in the case of very old ladies or gentlemen eating with one’s knife is not to be tolerated, and many other important things. 

Passing on to the etiquette of children, one learns with actual relief that well-behaved children do not play with a guest's dress, hat, or purse: neither are they permitted to sit on a sofa beside a guest unless particularly invited by the guest to do so. Indeed, in most cases they are not permitted in the room with visitors at all.

A gentleman in society does not quarrel with other guests in a house, and it is not considered elegant to try to be witty, although a pleasing and sprightly conversation may be tolerated. Even en familie quarrels and squabbles should be avoided at the dinner table. Never ask personal questions in society, and in talking to a person look at him, but avoid staring. 

In church one should remember not to eat lozenges or peppermints, nor to fan violently and create a cold current on the back of one's neighbor's neck. Be attentive to old people in the house of God.

It is not etiquette for saleswomen to gossip behind the counter, nor for stenographers to lunch with their employers.

Ladies should try to have their dresses fit well, and in traveling there are fastidious people who prefer to carry their own toilet articles rather than to use those designed for the general-public.

The book is a stout volume, and these are only unassorted items taken from it at random. Mrs. Sangster has gone to great pains to classify all her manners. For instance, on Page 23 she gives Good Manners for Traveling” and on Page 205 we have “Good Manners When All by Ourselves.” There are chapters on “Mourning and Funeral Etiquette and on “The Etiquette of the Visiting Card.”

She tells when is the proper time to: use moth balls and when to buy preserves; when to use the typewriter in correspondence, and when to write in: long hand; and she also gives recipes for cleaning jewelry and old laces, and a little résume of manners in different periods, of history. It should prove an exceedingly valuable book for diamonds in the rough. – The Christian Herald, 1904

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