Etiquette’s Intrinsic Value

The efficiency and usefulness of a liberal education are dwarfed unless developed under the genial influence of proper decorum. The actual worth, then, of politeness is such as to make every one who would be refined and cultured seek to cultivate it to such an extent as to make it practical in all the walks of life.

To estimate the real value of etiquette, decorum, or good manners, is to measure the breadth and scope of modern civilization. That culture only is valuable, which smooths the rough places, harmonizes the imperfections, and develops the pure, the good and the gentle in human character. The revenge of the savage, the roughness of the barbarous, and the rudeness of even some who claim to be civilized, are all lost in the good will and suavity of gentle manners. 

The efficiency and usefulness of a liberal education are dwarfed unless developed under the genial influence of proper decorum. The actual worth, then, of politeness is such as to make every one who would be refined and cultured seek to cultivate it to such an extent as to make it practical in all the walks of life.

EXCHANGEABLE VALUE

“A man’s manners are his fortune,” is a saying as true as it is old, as valuable as it is true. Many commodities are exchangeable, and money is the pivot upon which they turn. This is not less true of good manners than it is of the theories of the political economist. Who will number the times fortune has smiled upon penniless men who have had a good countenance and a pleasing address at their command? 

Good manners are made a leading business qualification in all pursuits. Neither sex is exempt, and the best posi- tions with the fattest salaries are always commanded by the best mannered, most courteous individuals. Then, as an avenue to wealth and position, good manners constitute a desirable acquisition.

VALUE TO SOCIETY

What is called society would be impossible were it not for the laws and usages of etiquette. So many interests are to be served 1-some to be protected, others to be restrained, and still others to be allowed the privilege of growth and expansion-that all these could not be done without some acknowledged standard of action, of which all may acquire some information both on entering and while in society. 

The best manners are to be found in the society of the good, and they are only the outgrowth of what is actually essential to regulate intercourse among such people. Man can not do without society, and society can not be maintained without customs and laws; therefore we have only to think of the mistakes, the heart-burnings and the mortifications which are the experience of the unrefined and ill-mannered, to see how valuable to society is a knowledge of the rules of decorum. —From “Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture,” 1889

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia