Speed the Parting Guest

The question has arisen as to whether or not it is correct for a hostess to escort a gentleman guest to the door when there are no servants to attend to this duty. This is a problem which depends largely upon circumstances. If the man is a dinner guest, the host should escort him to the door. If he has come to pay an obligatory call, he should be received in the drawing or reception room and the hostess should take leave of him there without going to the door. If he is a young man making a friendly call upon a young woman, it is entirely optional whether or not she takes leave of him at the door. While it is not good form to go to the street door with every gentleman guest who calls, one should bear in mind that circumstances alter cases and that it is better to break a slight rule of etiquette than hurt the feelings of someone who is sensitive. Elderly men and old friends of the family should be accompanied to the street door– others may be accompanied to the drawing-room door or street door, as considered most appropriate. – Lillian Eichler

“Let us take a ceremonious leave, And loving farewell of our several friends.” —Shakespeare

When a guest in your house rises to leave it is not a good form to detain him. Either to urge him to stay or to detain him by extending the conversation, is not really considerate. If you accompany your friend to the door —and this you or one of your household should do whenever it is possible—do not start a new subject of conversation that would make it necessary for the caller to linger in the hall. If the call has been a formal call of courtesy between two women who are not very intimate, it is enough to say something like this: “It has been a great pleasure for me to see you, Mrs. Smith.” 

It is usual to shake hands with the guest as she says good-bye. To stand chatting in an open door after a guest has started to go is in bad form, even in the most simple of households. It is only courteous that you should see that your guest is seated so long as she is making her call, so if you detain her after she is risen, you are keeping her standing, and that is not considerate. If the call is one of condolence or congratulation it is courteous when saying good-bye to thank the caller for her kindness in calling. 

If the caller is an intimate friend it is courteous to ask her to call again, but to do this when the call is formal and simply one of the so called “call of courtesy,” would show ignorance of the laws of etiquette. For it would then not be the caller’s place to call again till after she had called on or entertained her. On saying good-bye at the close of a call it is never necessary to shake hands with any but your host and hostess. To shake hands with all members and guests of the family present is sometimes very awkward, especially when guests are departing from a party of any sort.– By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

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