Incongruous Actions in Bad Taste

Not many days ago at a large military funeral the color bearer was chewing gum, and among those lined up on either side of the street to witness the impressive procession there were thousands who mentally commented on this little piece of bad taste.

“I wish you a little more taste.” — Alan Rene Le Sage

Lots of the little things we do that had better been left undone are not things that any authroity on so- called etiquette could reasonably call in bad form— but they are incongruous and inappropriate actions that possibly irritate other people just as much as actual breaks in etiquette. There are some people who though they have little opportunity to learn the habits of polite society through fortuitous gift of good taste, ever seem to make a break. And there are others, who though trained from their youth in the edicts of society, can never be counted on to avoid incongruities.

Not many days ago at a large military funeral the color bearer was chewing gum, and among those lined up on either side of the street to witness the impressive procession there were thousands who mentally commented on this little piece of bad taste. Now, as a matter of fact, so many Americans do chew gum on occasions that it can hardly be called a piece of bad manners. Aviators, swimmers, football player, soldiers on the march, mountain climbers for the most part, find great help in gum chewing, and some doubt the soldier who had a long march to take on a warm day with a heavy banner to carry reflected that he would lighten his task a ward off thirst if he went fortified with gum. But chewing gum on the gridiron or in the swimming tank 1s one thing and chewing gum on a solemn procession is another. It is one of the things of which a person with an, inherent sense of the fitness of things would, of course, never be guilty.

Americans as a rule have a rather remarkable endowment of this feeling for the fitness of things. Especially is this true of our women. A humble farmer's daughter can go from her rural home and grace the most formal European drawing room and show no less grace of manner than the Duchesses with whom she mingles. And many of the women who have made the most tactful hostesses of our White House and have been praised most lavishly by European visitors are those who have had no preparatory social training save that of some back-woods community and have come fortified simply with this native American sense of congruity.

To a certain extent this is some- thing that one acquires as a natural endowment; but in a measure it can be acquired. If you would acquire it, then cultivate your powers of observation. Note what other people are doing and without, of course, blindly following them, bend your manners in minor matters to suit theirs. A desire to be distinctive and individual, at any cost almost always leads a person to lose his sense of the fitness of things. He consults only his own whims and personal comfort. He feels that he is relinquishing some of his inalienable rights as an American citizen if he yields his personal whim and habit. — By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1918

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia