Presidential Dining Etiquette and More

Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

When the President and his wife drive out, the President sits upon the right hand seat and his wife on the left. If there are others in the carriage, whether ladies or gentlemen, they must sit with their backs to the horses. When the President's wife drives alone she sits in the right hand corner —the place of houor. The lady of the White House cannot set foot within those splendid houses in Washington whose flag staffs mark the foreign embassy or legation. She could not go without the President, and, as an embassy or legation is technically a part of the country it represents, the President could not go — so that she never sees the inside of a diplomatic house as long as she presides at the executive mansion. 

The President dines only at cabinet houses, and his wife cannot dine anywhere without him. President Arthur dined with judges of the supreme court and with senators but as he had no wife the whole system was very much simplified for him. The President’s wife may if she chooses go to luncheons where there are no gentlemen, or to teas, both being regarded as strictly informal; but the danger of giving offense by accepting one invitation and declining another is so great that it is seldom or never relaxed. 

At a state dinner the etiquette of the White House is exactly the reverse of the custom at a private dinner. The guests assemble in the cast room and await the President and his wife, who appear on the stroke of the clock. Woe betide the late guest! He has committed a national or international breach of etiquette. At the table the President is served first, his wife next, then the guests inorder of precedence. An invitation to the White House is a command, and takes precedence of all others, even of a dinner at one's own house. An infringement of this rule would be regarded as a shocking breach of the amenities. The President's sister may be at the head of the White Home, as Mrs. McElroy was during President Arthur's administration, and Miss Rose Cleveland during a part of Mr. Cleveland's first administration, but her position is never like that of the President's wife. 

She has much more latitude, and although she follows in a general way the etiquette laid down for the President's wife, she has by to means the recognized official standing of the “first lady of the land.” The younger and more inexperienced a woman is when she enters the White House the more likely she is to succeed; since she is likely to do us she is told, without, presuming to act on her own judgment. This is one secret of Mrs. Cleveland’s success.– Ventura Weekly Democrat, 1901

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia