The Bad Little Boy of 1922

“After a while they had the Refreshments. They were Pretty Refreshments. You could see a Lady made them. And all the Nice Little Children were glad that they had come to such a Lovely Party where they had such Pretty Refreshments. All, but the Bad Little Boy.” – The following story appears to be a commentary on how Great Britain’s leaders behaved following World War I. 

LISTEN, WORLD! In so far as my limited powers permit, I'm going to immortalize a small boy. One of our contributors wrote me about him the other day. It seems that this young monster had gone to a party. It was a Nice Party. All the little girls had on fresh hair ribbons and all the little boys had their ears washed. They tiptoed around and played “Hunt the Peanut” and other Refined Pastime for The Young. 

Every little while the hostess would come in, grinning like a hyena, and ask them if they-were-having- a-happy-time-but-not-to make-too-much-noise. After a while they had the Refreshments. They were Pretty Refreshments. You could see a Lady made them. And all the Nice Little Children were glad that they had come to such a Lovely Party where they had such Pretty Refreshments. All, but the Bad Little Boy. 

Suddenly, right in the midst of all this beauty and uplift, the Bad Little Boy bent over and proceeded to lick his plate with horrid gobbly noises. Of course everyone was shocked. And the Hostess quite properly lectured the Bad Little Boy and sent him straight home. How could he have done such a naughty, NAUGHTY thing? Didn't he know that his Dear Mother would not let him lick the plates at home. “He simply wanted to show off!” said the Hostess, and she was right. 

He did. He wanted to show off something natural, joyous, daring and boisterous in the face of all this abnormal juvenile righteousness and adult bossiness. He couldn't analyze his feelings. He couldn't explain that he thought it positively immoral to try to make healthy, imaginative youngsters ape the timid social manners of their bored and stupid elders. He had no words to express his contempt for an Adult World which chose Manner is preference to Adventures. But he could do one thing to save his self respect. He could lick the plate. And he licked it!

And believe me, World, they put laurels on many a bust in Westminster for less than that! – Written and Illustrated by Elsie Robinson for the Modesto Herald, 1922

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia