Ordering Etiquette in Restaurants

“It is necessary to know what the main course is going to be before fixing upon the wine. Therefore, do not order wine until the main dish has been chosen by those at the table.”- Amy Vanderbilt 

Q. Dear Miss Vanderbilt: I would like to know if there are any specific rules on the order in which you order various dinner courses in a restaurant. That is, do you order appetizer, salad, main course, vegetable and potato way you would be served or is there a rule of etiquette to govern just how you state your order to the waiter? 

I have been told that the correct way is to order your main (meat) course first, then salad, appetizer and vegetable, but I have been unable to substantiate this is any books of etiquette. I would appreciate your help. -Mrs. E. S., Bridgeville, Pa.

A. You order the appetizer first, then the fish course if any, then the meat course. If separate vegetables are listed on the menu, you indicate which ones you would like. Otherwise, they are served automatically with the meat course. Although you don't order the meat first, you have decided on it before ordering the preliminary course or courses.

Recently there was a symposium for New York prep school boys at the Four Seasons restaurant in New York. They were instructed on how to order. It is important, they were told, that the choice of courses balance with another. You can see what would be wrong with herring with sour cream, followed by cream of asparagus soup, chicken fricassee, salad with Russian dressing and Washington cream pie. 

Also, it is necessary to know what the main course is going to be before fixing upon the wine. Therefore, do not order wine until the main dish has been chosen by those at the table. If you don't know too much about wines, never hesitate to ask the advice of the sommelier, or wine steward. He can't make, intelligent suggestions until he knows what your main course is.– 1965, by United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia