Gilded Age Etiquette and Manners

Never eat bonbons or confections of any kind on the street, in vehicles or in public places. Munching sweets is considered by all refined and intelligent persons as ill bred and provincial.

Details of Fine Manners

Good manners are the source and inspiration of easy social intercourse. They are the means of bringing people together in gentleness, grace and savoir-faire. For the men or women who observe the amenities of life; who inherit the great gift, the perfect manner; who by goodness of heart and graciousness of disposition pave the way for those about them; who delight and charm human livings, and content them with themselves—they have at last reached the place in life in which they are a source of perpetual pleasure, an ever abiding joy to those who know them and a cheer and sunshine to those who believe in them. 

An authority on social matters adds, in Harper's Bazar, the following suggestions for attaining the pleasing condition described in the foregoing words: 

• Cultivate dress as a fine art, for minute attention to personal adornment and elegance of toilet is the duty of every man or woman in civilized society. It is the outward show that enables the world to judge of us personally, our character, refinement and condition, of the station in life in which we are thrown. It is a duty we owe our family, our friends and the world at large. It is the passport to good breeding and the support of fine manners. 
• Never eat bonbons or confections of any kind on the street, in vehicles or in public places. Munching sweets is considered by all refined and intelligent persons as ill bred and provincial. 
• Study repose of manner. Swinging of arms, humming of tunes, frequent contortions of the face and restlessness of feet and hands are not only very trying to your family, but they are a source of irritation and annoyance to others.
• After visiting an out of town house a letter sent within a week is equivalent to a call. 
• Never discuss yourself, your servants or domestic affairs. In polite circles conversation is of a nature so general that continual talking of one’s self is considered ill bred and vulgar. 
• Never interrupt conversation at any time or in any place. A good listener is a great boon to mankind. 
• There is a code of rules which is the result of all these social observances. A sentence, an incident, an opinion expressed should be given without interruption. 
• Be careful in carrying small bundles or parcels on which the name of the shopkeeper appears. A silk bag for these small purchases obviates this difficulty and makes for the buyer a helpful article in traveling or shopping. 
• It is not necessary at all times to offer your seat to a lady in a street car or omnibus, but there are two cases when it should be the inevitable rule -an elderly person or a woman with a child in her arms. To either this courtesy should be extended. Consideration for age and helplessness is always appreciated.– 1892

 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia