Fine Points of Etiquette for Cards

A lady’s calling card should never be found where she would not like to be seen herself. – Above, an antique mother of pearl calling card case of a Miss Mary Sheffield.

Use of Calling Cards: 

The question of how properly to use the calling card seems still to remain puzzling to so many people that the best way is again to give instruction on the subject if the primary point is firmly implanted in the mind there should be no trouble at all, and this is that the visiting card of a man or a woman means the personal presence of the one whose name it bears as far as an inanimate object can be said to replace a living person. 

A lady’s calling card should never be found where she would not like to be seen herself, and the man who is in any regular business will have his office number on his business cards, but his calling cards that are to be sent in to announce him calling or to be left by the ladies of his family with their own when he cannot make the call In person need have only his name, always with the prefix “Mr.” 

A married woman in making a first call leaves one of her own and one of her husband’s for each lady in the house, with an extra one of her husband’s for the man of the family—more if it be necessary—that is where there are sons or brothers. It should be readily understood that this simply means that Mr. and Mrs. have called upon Mrs. and Miss, while Mr. has also called upon Mr. Such formality is only needed when making a first Call. Afterward only the card of the lady and her husband need be left if the members called upon are not at home. 

When a lady calls where she has been in the habit of calling—that is, upon an acquaintance or friend —she just leaves her own card, laying it upon any convenient table or shelf. If the lady of the house opens the door herself or happens to be at the door and receives her in person. Where cards of invitation include the men of the family and they cannot call in person their visiting cards should be left by the women who do call: this is all that is necessary. A young man usually prefers to have his own cards to announce his visit when he calls in person. 

When an invitation to an “at home” is received, the only thing needed is to drop one’s card In the receiver always to be found either at the door or presented by a man or maid for the purpose. This signifies that one has been present as the hostess looks over her cards afterward to note who has been present. If one cannot attend a short note of regrets, with card inclosed, is mailed in time to reach the house of the hostess on day and date of reception, as near the hour as possible. One’s obligations cease if these simple rules are followed. – San Pedro Pilot, 1913

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia