Etiquette and Leaning on the Table

  

This is not “good form,” nor hardly necessary, since every one can hear without leaning forward, but even careful and well-mannered people may occasionally relax from “form” when in intimate circles, thus becoming “informal.”

It is not correct to lean the arms or elbows on the table, and one should never allow himself this lax, if pleasant, habit unless it is at a most informal and intimate dinner where, after the main courses are finished, three or four persons draw near together over the cloth for earnest or pleasant talk. This is not “good form,” nor hardly necessary, since every one can hear without leaning forward, but even careful and well-mannered people may occasionally relax from “form” when in intimate circles, thus becoming “informal.” 

This allowable laxity does not, however, relate to such manners as would become offensive, obnoxious, or disgusting to others. To instance: it is exceedingly bad form to use a toothpick, or otherwise fuss with the teeth at a formal dinner, but it is exactly as bad form to do the same thing if there is but one other person present and that person should be a child. To see another person pick his teeth, or to hear him make sucking noises through them is disgusting, and if one does it he justly earns the censure and contumely of whoever is next.

When you sit at table, sit squarely on your chair, not on the extreme edge or at the side. Sit so you will be comfortable and then sit quietly. Do not put your feet on the rungs of the chair, or kick the table legs. – Della Thompson Lutes, 1923 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia