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| All the little details of good breeding are then as familiar as the alphabet to one who has been taught that attention to small things is always the effort of intelligent minds toward success. This applies to culture as much as to work, or the study and practice of any accomplishment. –Photo source, Etiquipedia private library |
THE CHARM OF GOOD TABLE MANNERS
Simple Courtesies of Living Makes Existence a Pleasure
BEHAVIOR at the table is a trustworthy test in early home training or the neglect of it. If one has been brought up to have careful manners at home, one has them unconsciously elsewhere. All the little details of good breeding are then as familiar as the alphabet to one who has been taught that attention to small things is always the effort of intelligent minds toward success. This applies to culture as much as to work, or the study and practice of any accomplishment.
Parents cannot be too careful in teaching their children all the small details which help to form refinement. Our children who are left much to others, are sure to acquire bad habits, for children are very quick to observe and imitate those with whom they associate.
Early Training Necessary
Mothers who are really interested in the welfare of their children are very watchful over them, correcting their faults gently but firmly, and not excusing bad manners on the plea of childish ignorance, or that these faults may be overlooked now, as children will outgrow them in time. Careless faults soon become fixed habits which are difficult to eradicate, because they are followed almost mechanically, and in later times these habits may stamp the possessor as unrefined and may prove a very serious bar to social success.
Meal-time Conversation
A serious fault is to reserve mealtime for the discussion of disagreeable family or business matters which may require settlement, but should discussed elsewhere, otherwise the peace and contentment of the meal is destroyed, for good digestion waits truly on peace and cheerful talk as well as on appetite, and health depends on both.
Using the Napkin
And now to turn to practical suggestions. The correct use of the napkin is to unfold it partly and lay it across the knees, to leave it unfolded on rising from the table, at any formal meal. At home one may fold one’s napkin, but the use of a napkin ring is not now general. When visiting one may fold the napkin, if the hostess does so.
One speaks of “eating” soup, not drinking it. Soup is taken from the side of the spoon, and sticklers on etiquette claim that when taking up the soup im the spoon, the spoon should have movement away from one, not toward one. It is bad form to try to take up the last drop of soup in the soup plate or to tilt the plate.
Disposing of the Fork and Knife
When one has finished, the fork and knife are placed close together in the middle of the plate. Never must a fork or knife rest on the side of the plate or with the handle on the table or tossed together in a slovenly fashion on the plate at the conclusion of a meal. When a plate is passed for a second serving, the rule is to leave the knife and fork on it close together.– San Jose Mercury News, 1909
A serious fault is to reserve mealtime for the discussion of disagreeable family or business matters which may require settlement, but should discussed elsewhere, otherwise the peace and contentment of the meal is destroyed, for good digestion waits truly on peace and cheerful talk as well as on appetite, and health depends on both.
Using the Napkin
And now to turn to practical suggestions. The correct use of the napkin is to unfold it partly and lay it across the knees, to leave it unfolded on rising from the table, at any formal meal. At home one may fold one’s napkin, but the use of a napkin ring is not now general. When visiting one may fold the napkin, if the hostess does so.
One speaks of “eating” soup, not drinking it. Soup is taken from the side of the spoon, and sticklers on etiquette claim that when taking up the soup im the spoon, the spoon should have movement away from one, not toward one. It is bad form to try to take up the last drop of soup in the soup plate or to tilt the plate.
Disposing of the Fork and Knife
When one has finished, the fork and knife are placed close together in the middle of the plate. Never must a fork or knife rest on the side of the plate or with the handle on the table or tossed together in a slovenly fashion on the plate at the conclusion of a meal. When a plate is passed for a second serving, the rule is to leave the knife and fork on it close together.– San Jose Mercury News, 1909
🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
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