Monday, October 21, 2024

Pettiness Interfered with Graciousness

The Lady acted in an unladylike manner by publicly cutting the widow… Lady Geddes wouldn’t receive the widow of Terence MacSwiney herself, and she wouldn’t even associate herself with her hostess? It is a curious state of mind.– Public domain image of widow, Muriel MacSwiney, the left-wing activist and Irish republican, in December 1920

Petty Lady Geddes and the Widow MacSwiney

THE British Ambassador in Washington should speak to his wife. He should give a few kindly words of advice to the Lady Geddes. She resigned as a Patroness of the Washington Opera because one of the other patronesses has been too gracious a hostess of Mrs. Muriel MacSwiney. Perhaps there is some hidden point of etiquette in this that would be obvious to English society, but is not so apparent to Washington.

We don't know about these things. The lady feels her caste – and caste is a strange thing. It comes from the Portuguese word casta, meaning “pure.” In India one of lower caste cannot approach a member of higher caste except as a menial; the touch of an inferior is equivalent to pollution. Perhaps it is this sort of reasoning that sponsors the action of Lady Geddes. She wouldn’t receive the widow of Terence MacSwiney herself, and she won't even associate herself with her hostess. It is a curious state of mind.

Of course, Terence MacSwiney died in jail - in stubborn rebellion against the British government. And though some people consider him a martyr, Lady Geddes and her friends must look upon him as an idiot, a fanatic, a traitor, or at least a very foolish man. Or there may be other reasons. The Lady Geddes’ objections to Mrs. MacSwiney may be social and not political. She is the wife of a very successful, self-made man who made himself a power in England by remaining alive and working. 

Mrs. MасSwiney is the widow of another man who never made a material success of life and whose greatest power has come through his death. Lady Geddes must see that there is considerable difference here. And so she refuses to be linked in society with a simple Irish widow – of which there is an increasing number in the world. But Ambassador Geddes, if he cares at all for American popularity, should have a confidential little chat with his wife. She needs it. – San Francisco Call, December, 1920



🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

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