Etiquette for Mumbai’s Mobile Phones

There’s almost never a moment when someone isn’t talking, texting, scrolling, or watching something on YouTube, Facebook, or WhatsApp. Mobile or cell phone manners in India are a complete reverse of what is acceptable in Western countries, and even most other Asian nations.

How India has cranked cell phone calls up to 11 and, very often, into a group activity

I have been in India for nearly a year, living in Mumbai. I travel regularly on the local trains about once or twice a month and on the metro train almost daily. One of the most remarkable sounds is the noise of a carriage packed with people after a long day of work, with everyone on their phones, mostly talking. It's hard to find words that truly capture the clacking of the train against the hum and volume of the Hindi conversations filling the air.

When I first arrived, I was completely in awe. It seemed like every Indian I saw was doing something on their phone, at a noise level I had never heard publicly before. While Western societies, and most others the world over, have chosen to go down one path, Mumbai, and the rest of India from what I hear, have boldly gone down the other path. While etiquette professionals like myself expose the benefits of good mobile manner, who promote and embrace the motto, “silence is golden” when it comes to mobile use, all of India has proudly ventured forth and lived out loud online, without a thought to lowering the volume. The unusual etiquette caught this world traveling Australian by surprise. 

India is a very welcoming and hospitable country in nearly every respect. Their lives are often hectic and harried. Their mobile phone use while they commute is especially fascinating. They relish this “commute time” with their mobile phone’s internet access, even though they are packed like sardines in rail cars. YouTube is their site of choice when not texting or loudly chatting with friends and family on the phones. But wait, it’s not just on the trains.

I’ve witnessed families who live on the streets, all gathered around, video-calling family on their phones, with a saucepan as a makeshift prop, all sitting on the ground. Or, a motorcyclist will often be seen with a phone tucked between his helmet and face speaking, making his mobile use ‘hands-free’ in order to focus on driving. But as committed as he is to his phone, I don’t feel that much safer. There’s almost never a moment when someone isn’t talking, texting, scrolling, or watching something on YouTube, Facebook, or WhatsApp. Mobile or cell phone manners in India are a complete reverse of what is acceptable in Western, and even most other Asian nations. There is no such thing as “phubbing” in India.

This got me thinking about the reasons behind this reverse of social acceptance of continually being connected with their mobile phones. Reflecting on Australian culture, we often talk when we’re in the mood to chat or have something important to say. I may have even have something I really need to ‘get off my chest.’ It’s a worldwide phenomenon just how much time one spends on their phones, compared to how Western societies lived just 30 years ago. 

Texting and DM’ing has certainly become our main communication mode, however. We usually keep our thoughts and opinions in written form, as opposed to speaking loudly on our phones in public. We notice it when someone breaks the expected etiquette around us. We prefer others to turn away or we will turn our backs in order to briefly chat on the phone in hushed tones. We will leave a room or even go outside, if we need to make or take a call. It has become the norm, nearly 40 years after Japanese mobile phone manufacturers added a “silence” button to their phones, literally setting the standard for other nations to follow.

If someone is publicly venting his or frustrations or joking with friends in anything but a muffled or quieted voice, we get glares from those around us, along with the occasional a choice comment of the unwelcome kind. If we do make phone calls, they generally aren’t group activities like those I witness daily now, or overhear daily now, in Mumbai. They are usually solo calls. And we show a reverence and respect for those whose ears are around us.

To better understand South Asian culture, I started listening more intently, and my ears became like the Arecibo reflective dish. I believe the following are the factors that have created this open dialogue on cell phones throughout India to such a volume:

The combination of technological advancements, affordability, cultural factors, and the allure of digital content has solidified mobile phones as an indispensable part of Indian life.

The South Asian Culture – This is known for its open and expressive nature. This is evident in the ease with which strangers can converse on the street, in public transport, or anywhere else. I've often witnessed people engaging in friendly chats simply to ask for directions, highlighting the culture's openness and approachability.

The South Asian Family Structure - The family plays a central role in the lives of most South Asians, often characterized by collectivism, patriarchy, and hierarchy. Loyalty and interdependence are highly valued, and younger members are often expected to conform to family decisions, including those related to education, marriage, or career. The concept of “saving face” is central to family dynamics, emphasizing the preservation of a positive reputation within the community. This collectivist mindset, combined with the power dynamics within families, can often extend to business environments. Managers and owners may adopt a similar approach, micro-managing staff and dictating their tasks, methods, and timelines.

No Work-Life Balance – Work-life balance is a challenge in India. While the Western world is implementing four-day workweeks and mental health days, Indian businesses often require employees to work six days a week and be on-call, even after long hours. I've personally witnessed friends being called by colleagues or bosses after returning home from work. For many, the train journey home is a valuable time to connect with family and friends without needing in-person visits.

A Curious Case of College Blues - I was astonished by the Indian public school education system, especially when considering non-private, government-funded schools. Let me elaborate. In Maharashtra, school hours typically run from 9a.m. to 2 p.m., but students often attend private tuition sessions. The school system itself doesn’t fully meet the educational needs of the students, so tutors step in to revise, review, and extend learning beyond school hours. You will see parents with their neatly uniformly dressed children, hand-in-hand, taking their child to-and-from tutors, until the evening, walking or in-cars talking on the mobile. They might be discussing plans or simply catching up on their mobile phones.

Domestic Immigration - Mumbai and Delhi serve as major hubs for internal migration, drawing people from economically weaker states like Andhra Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh, Nepal, West Bengal, Tamil Nadu, and more. Many of these migrants live far from their families, relying heavily on phones to stay connected. But why the constant phone usage? From what I’ve gathered through conversations, these calls are about navigating life’s decisions. Whether it’s about personal choices, family matters, work, or friends, they’re all trying to make the best decisions while being away from home.

Wherever you live in the world, be it Australia, Great Britain, Europe, Russia, or the Americas, it's indisputable that people all over have a strong affinity for their phones. In India, though, it is the group out activity nature of so many of the numerous mobile phone calls which is unique. This constant engagement can be attributed to the proliferation of social media platforms and mobile apps, which have provided countless opportunities for entertainment, education, and social interaction. The combination of technological advancements, affordability, cultural factors, and the allure of digital content has solidified phones as an indispensable part of Indian life. — By Elizabeth Soos, Founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette& Protocol

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia