Gilded Age Card-Leaving Etiquette

A late 19th C. receipt from Montgomery Bros. (once known as “the Tiffany’s of LosAngeles”) for a steel plate for engraving calling or visiting cards, for a Mary Anne Martin, aka Mrs. William Martin of San Dimas California.

Between ladies the etiquette of card-leaving is very strictly followed and punctiliously observed in all its laws. Some ladies labour under the mistake of supposing that on their arrival in town or elsewhere, their acquaintances should first call on them, but common sense would alone point to the contrary, even if there were no etiquette in the matter; as friends cannot be supposed to guess at this fact, they require to be informed of it by means of visiting cards. 

Visiting cards should be left in person, and should not be sent by post, unless the distance is considerable, when it is permissible to do so. Under certain circumstances a servant might be allowed to leave them for his mistress, delicate health, distance, or unfavourable weather would be perhaps sufficient and good reasons for sending cards by a servant: but, as a rule, ladies invariably leave their cards themselves. 

It was formerly the custom, on arriving in town for ladies having a large acquaintance to send their visiting cards to their various friends and acquaintances by a man-servant, but this practice is now more unusual than usual, it being found more satisfactory for ladies to leave cards themselves. Ladies arriving in town or country should leave cards on their acquaintances and friends to intimate that they have arrived, or returned home, as the case may be. –From Manners and Rules of Good Society or Solecisms to. Be Avoided, 1898

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