Thursday, December 7, 2023

Table “Dressing” Etiquette

“Attention, objects and creativity have developed more and more consistently around everything that substantiates the equipment, but often with completely correct principles and rules. Giving vent to creativity is certainly a plus for welcoming our guests, but the rules of etiquette help us to set the table and furnish the house with harmony, elegance and above all with logic in order to create solid welcoming environments, honest marvelous (let's also think about how many amazing wedding tables you see insistently proposed on social media or in glossy magazines) and at the same time functional.”

From “CHAPTER III – The art of receiving: The table The menu” in the new book by contributor, Petra Carsetti and Carlo Cambi,“Galatime ACT II: Life as a stage of elegance
“With this chapter we get to the heart of one of the topics that arouse the most interest and are most sought after in the field of etiquette: the table and the art of receiving.

“Attention, objects and creativity have developed more and more consistently around everything that substantiates the equipment, but often with completely correct principles and rules. Giving vent to creativity is certainly a plus for welcoming our guests, but the rules of etiquette help us to set the table and furnish the house with harmony, elegance and above all with logic in order to create solid welcoming environments, honest marvelous (let's also think about how many amazing wedding tables you see insistently proposed on social media or in glossy magazines) and at the same time functional.

“First of all, the various types of table must be distinguished: from the square one for four with about 80 centimeters on each side or eight with at least 130 centimeters as a side used for intimate lunches or for a few people, to the rectangular one with six seats which usually has a length of 120 centimeters and a width of 70 centimeters; or the rectangular table for ten people with a length of 220 centimeters and a width of at least 80 centimeters: this is the most used; the oval table is not uncommon and very elegant, it respects the dimensions more or less of the rectangular one and is more useful in narrow spaces with more guests. 

“Finally there is the round table with a diameter of at least 110 centimeters for six people and 150 centimeters for eight people; this typology "resets" or thins out hierarchies because it puts everyone on the same level (it is no coincidence that King Arthur is known for his round table and his desire for equality among all knights), but it hides a pitfall because It often happens that the napkins or placemats set overhang the edge and look sloppy!

“It must be kept in mind that each diner must have approximately 60 centimeters of space between their center of the plate and that of the next and approximately 45 centimeters in height; spaces are reduced in buffet lunches and even more so in cocktail invitations.

“When starting to set the table, the first thing to do is place a clip (it must never go down from the sides beyond the tablecloth) to muffle all the noises of the crockery, plates or glasses, as well as to protect the table from the heat of the food, with the green side towards the table and the white side towards the tablecloth.

“A table correctly set with springboard has a completely comforting consistency to the touch: it transmits solidity and comfort at the same time. The sensorial aspect of what is done and what is proposed should never be overlooked. There is a non-verbal language that is just as significant as words. It is no coincidence that etiquette pays so much attention to gestures, spaces, postures and non-verbal etiquette is also an ancient code of behavior and communication.

“The tablecloth must be in natural fabric such as linen, cotton or Flanders and must be in neutral colors such as white, pearl, beige; it must go down beyond the edge of the table for about 30-35 centimetres, but no more because otherwise it would disturb leg movements and could create problems. Only for buffet tables are floor-length tablecloths provided or possibly for very formal events where there are multiple tables set up or horseshoe-shaped equipment and imperial tables.

“Ban runners or placemats (allowed for breakfast or in the family) and above all never overlap them with a tablecloth: it would be a useless duplication! In recent years, "american cutlery" have become widely used, they have become a very fashionable accessory and are set as a substitute for the placemat: for etiquette it is not really advisable and in any case it is recommended at least not to put cutlery on them! Would you place cutlery on a charger? Never! So don't even do it on the placemats set together with the tablecloth.

“Colored or patterned tablecloths are also fashionable, but even if they are adorable, it is best to use them only on more informal occasions such as a joyous arrangement in the garden or possibly at Christmas, a day on which a little more excess is permitted, but it is mandatory that all fabrics are well ironed, without creases so as not to give the impression of neglect.

“The napkin goes to the left, never under the cutlery, but rather more externally (or more to the left) of them. In the ceremony the position above the plate is foreseen and in the etiquette this position is used if for example there is a small gift or a single bouquet of flowers set up or if the space is really limited. It can be folded into four parts and then in half creating a booklet-like rectangle the open part towards the left and the rounded part towards the plate, or in a triangle always with the rounding on the right and although they are very spectacular or fun other types of folds are not at all recommended also because the napkin should be handled as little as possible without using napkin holders.

“A royal curiosity: at the Habsburg court the fantasy with napkins - perhaps on the basis of an oriental suggestion that recalls origami - was considered such a precious art to the point that the only two experts in folding (it is often customary to insert sandwiches between the folds of napkins) never traveled at the same time to avoid the tradition being lost in the event of an accident. These skills can still be understood today by visiting the imperial palace of Hofburg in Vienna where there are still two workers in charge of these delightful practices and where the royal collection of crockery is kept, perhaps the richest in Europe. As we know, the napkin was introduced to the Sforza court by Leonardo Da Vinci who had the task of master of ceremonies, but throughout the Middle Ages up to the Baroque many tablecloths were set, where the diners wiped their hands (alternatively they used the sleeves of clothes), for how many food services were foreseen. With every change of dish, a layer of tablecloth was taken away!” —From Carlo Cambi and Petra Carsetti in “Galatime ACT II: Life as a stage of elegance.” 2023


Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, is a frequent television guest and is very active on Instagram @galateopetra_carsetti


🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

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