In the Living Room
After a semiformal or a formal dinner, coffee is not traditionally served at table. The French custom is that men and women have their coffee together in the living room, but the English custom of serving the women in the living room and the men in the dining room or library has become standard for all entertaining in America except the most informal.
Soon after the women have left the dining room, the coffee is brought in to them. The most formal version of this system— and the one usually followed if the service has been elaborate— is that the butler or first waitress carries a small tray with the sugar, the cream, one cup, and the coffeepot. The footman or second waitress follows with a tray of empty cups. The butler goes first to the most important woman guest, saying, "Coffee, Madam?" and offering the tray. He fills the cup; the guest helps herself to sugar and cream, and takes the cup.
A slight variation of this is to have the sugar and cream on the big tray with the empty cups. The butler inquires as to each guest's preference, pours the coffee, puts the cup on his small tray and offers it to the guest.
The second way of serving in the living room is managed by the waitress or butler alone. All the cups– five are usually the maximum possible – and the sugar and cream are balanced on a tray on one hand. The coffee is poured from a pot held in the other hand, and each guest helps himself to sugar and cream.
Still a third way– but, again, somewhat contrary to good service– is to have the butler bring a tray of filled cups, with the sugar and cream; each guest helps herself. Finally, and this is probably used more than any other– the complete coffee tray, with empty cups, coffeepot, sugar and cream, is brought in and set down on a low table in front of the hostess. After asking each guest what she likes in the way of sugar and cream, the filled cups are passed to the women by the hostess, or each guest comes up to take her cup for herself. – From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948
A slight variation of this is to have the sugar and cream on the big tray with the empty cups. The butler inquires as to each guest's preference, pours the coffee, puts the cup on his small tray and offers it to the guest.
The second way of serving in the living room is managed by the waitress or butler alone. All the cups– five are usually the maximum possible – and the sugar and cream are balanced on a tray on one hand. The coffee is poured from a pot held in the other hand, and each guest helps himself to sugar and cream.
Still a third way– but, again, somewhat contrary to good service– is to have the butler bring a tray of filled cups, with the sugar and cream; each guest helps herself. Finally, and this is probably used more than any other– the complete coffee tray, with empty cups, coffeepot, sugar and cream, is brought in and set down on a low table in front of the hostess. After asking each guest what she likes in the way of sugar and cream, the filled cups are passed to the women by the hostess, or each guest comes up to take her cup for herself. – From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948
🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
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