Etiquette for Serving Coffee for Men

“When there is no maid, coffee may be served at the table by the hostess, before the men and women separate; or, if men and women are not to be separated, it is served in the living room. If liqueurs are to be served, they are brought before the coffee cups are removed.” – Above, a 19th century maid serving coffee. 

Coffee for the Men

In the dining room, where the men have been left behind, coffee is served before the women have been given their coffee in the living room. The dining room service parallels that in the living room; for example, if the more formal version has been used in the living room it should be observed in the dining room, too, the butler coming first with the tray holding an empty cup, sugar, and cream, and the coffeepot, the footman following with the extra cups. 

The only difference between coffee service in the dining room and in the living room is that the host rarely pours the coffee himself; even when the hostess is to serve the coffee in the living room, the maid may serve the men first. When there is no maid, coffee may be served at the table by the hostess, before the men and women separate; or, if men and women are not to be separated, it is served in the living room. If liqueurs are to be served, they are brought before the coffee cups are removed.– From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948

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