Undertaking Etiquette: What is Done

A black-bordered envelope is what is most properly used for correspondence by those in mourning — All kindred and intimate friends should be notified of the death either by telegraph or letter without delay, while a notice of the funeral should be inserted conspicuously in the local papers. 

Usually after a death in a family all friends and acquaintances make a call of condolence during the first month. Very intimate friends call at the house as soon as they hear of the death, before the funeral. Others, a degree less intimate, make a point to call immediately after the funeral. 

All kindred and intimate friends should be notified of the death either by telegraph or letter without delay, while a notice of the funeral should be inserted conspicuously in the local papers. Letters of condolence need not at once be answered, and they are sufficiently acknowledged by a visiting card with the words “Thanks for sympathy” written thereon.

The undertaker and his assistants prepare a body for burial, unless some member of the family knows how to do this and assumes the duty. Trained nurses are taught how to perform this last sad office, and they are able to relieve the immediate mourners of the heart-breaking work of bathing an inanimate form, arranging the hair, and putting on the last garments that shall ever be worn.— From “Good Manners for All Occasions,” 1890

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