A Woman’s Refusal of Good Manners

When did chivalry die? When did women openly refuse to accept chivalric behavior from men? Many people will say it was after women went to work in WWII and “won their freedom,” but others will say it was in the 1960’s with the advent of Women’s Lib and “the Pill.” Gathering from this news’ account from 1904, chivalry was spurned much earlier than people suspect!  

A little newspaper anecdote the other day bears entertainingly on this mooted question. “Keep your seat, sir,” said a young lady, authoritatively, to an elderly gentleman who seemed about to rise in a street car. He sank back, abashed, but presently, more resolutely, rose, and the lady with emphasis exclaimed: “I will not take your seat, I do not mind standing! I am accustomed to it.” “Take the seat, madam, or leave it,” answered the gentleman; “I want to get out of the car.”

The bad manners of women on the road are inexcusable from every point of view. Why should a woman occupy two seats when she has paid for only one? Yet this is constantly done. A woman seats herself comfortably and then piles her bundles and boxes beside her, staring stonily ahead, when others enter the conveyance. The natural inference of newcomers is that the extra seat is being reserved for a friend, and they pass on without inquiry. If a more daring person ventures to ask, “Madam, is this seat taken?” the “No” is grudgingly spoken, and the luggage is removed with an air of injury.

Women are needlessly brusque and curt in their manner to conductors, and are conspicuously thoughtless in allowing their children to monopolize space to which the latter have no right.— From “Good Manners for All Occasions,” 1904

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia