Etiquette of the Table in 1904

During an entire dinner olives, salted almonds, radishes, and similar relishes may be passed. These are the only articles of food on the table when guests take their seats.

The place plates alone in a modern home with any claim to be thought fashionable may easily cost a hundred dollars a dozen. Very exquisite place plates may be bought for a quarter of that sum, it is true. But that single item gives the clue to the extravagance of much twentieth century table furnishing.

The place plates are supposed to stand under the soup plates, and under any course where it is desired to have them. They often are used at dessert as well as in the beginning of a meal.

A dinner served in courses consists of soup, fish, roast, salad, and dessert. These are the indispensable courses. A ceremonious dinner, however, probably begins with a tiny bit of caviare on a tiny bit of toast.

This is succeeded by fruit: melons, peaches, strawberries, or grape fruit may be served for this course. The fruit must be in perfection, must have been on the ice, must itself tempt the eye as well as the palate.

Next, served on a bed of crushed ice, with silver forks that come on purpose, will be a course of oysters or small clams on the half shell. Oyster plates with hollows for the shell come for this course.

Succeeding the oysters we have a delicate clear soup. The hostess may serve it from a silver tureen, or it may be brought in on soup plates and set before the individual guests.

Next follows fish. This may be served by the host, or it may be arranged in a dainty mince and served in shells to the separate guests. If the former way is chosen, potatoes very daintily cooked may accompany it.

During an entire dinner olives, salted almonds, radishes, and similar relishes may be passed. These are the only articles of food on the table when guests take their seats.

After the fish there may be an entrée or two of some delicate dish, but the roast is now the proper thing in order. It may be turkey, beef, mutton or lamb. Whatever it is the host may carve it, if he please, and the waiter receive the portions from him and carry them to the guests.

In many houses the lady of the house is first served, and next the guest of honor, who is the lady at the right of the host. Ladies are helped before gentlemen.

The carving is often done in the kitchen, or the butler's pantry, the host being altogether relieved from this duty.

With the roast several vegetables are served. A salad follows the roast, and with the salad cheese and small crackers are served.

The dessert follows the salad, and black coffee concludes the repast. A dinner of this kind should be served in very leisurely style. No fuss, no hurry, above all no noise or confusion must characterize a ceremonious dinner.

The dessert usually consists of tarts, ices, fruit, and bon-bons. Frequently there is a final course, after the sweets, consisting of cheese and toasted crackers.

Invited to dinner, one accepts or declines immediately. Good manners forbid delay in responding to a dinner invitation.

Good manners ordain that only extreme illness or a great calamity in one's family or affecting one's own person shall permit one to break a dinner engagement.

If one necessarily falls out of a dinner party, and the place at the last moment has to be supplied, a very intimate friend or a neighbor may be requested to take the vacant place, but the circumstances must be explained, and the agreement to help the hostess out at the eleventh hour constitutes a real social favor.

Children never come in at a ceremonious dinner. Very occasionally they are permitted to enter the room at dessert, but as generally the hour is far beyond their bedtime this is in doubtful taste.— From “Good Manners for All Occasion,” by Margaret Sangster, 1904

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