Most Etiquette is Common Sense

In ordinary social life, matters of precedence have been reduced to a few sane and very sensible rules—the first of which is “Ladies first!” There are only a few exceptions to this rule. When ascending or descending stairs the woman goes first, unless there is danger of tripping or falling, or if there are several heavy doors to be opened, such as in going from one car of a train to another. 

MANNERS, or etiquette, or whatever name you wish to call our general behavior, has changed a great deal since the days of our grandparents. I am very glad, for I never could remember all the silly little formalities that the young bride was supposed to have learned by the time she left the church door. In court life, or in our own army and navy life there are certain rules of precedence that must be observed. Why one should call first on the C.O.’s wife is more than I can tell, but it must be done. However, in ordinary social life, matters of precedence have been reduced to a few sane and very sensible rules—the first of which is “Ladies first!” There are only a few exceptions to this rule. When ascending or descending stairs the woman goes first, unless there is danger of tripping or falling, or if there are several heavy doors to be opened, such as in going from one car of a train to another. 

In going in and out of a restaurant the woman always precedes, but in getting out of a car, the man alights first and offers his hand to the woman to assist her. At the theater we find one of the exceptions to the rule. When there are tickets of admission, the person with the tickets always goes first. If it is a man, he goes down the aisle first, then stands aside and the woman enters first—by the way, the woman never takes the aisle seat when she is with a man. This is a carry-over from the old days when rowdies often made sitting on the aisle a precarious thing to do. In leaving, the woman precedes the man up the aisle. When two couples enter the theater together, the woman who is to have the farthest seat goes first, then the man who is to sit beside her. In boxes at the theater or football game the hostess takes the least desirable seat, giving the best view to the oldest guest, or to the guest of honor. 

Of course, at a circus, or a children’s performance, the children take the front seats. The bride issues at home cards and does not call until others have called upon her. A newcomer waits for her neighbors to call on her. If you glance over these rules, you’ll see that most of them are just common sense. If you just remember that it’s “Ladies first,” unless there is some reason, such as high-ranking title, or dangerous stairs or heavy doors, you shouldn’t encounter any difficulties. I wish that if you get stuck with any small problems, you’d write me. Maybe I can help straighten them out. – Deborah Ames, 1936

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia