Gilded Age Chafing Dish Party Etiquette

The etiquette of these parties is tacit but pronounced. A butler must not appear, or other servant, after the merest preliminaries of the supper, and a chafing-dish story or confidence, is one that would have been impossible in the formality of a dinner.
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Chafing-dish parties have never been more fashionable than this season. Many of the thẹatre parties finish off in one of these informal feasts, in modish preference to a restaurant supper. The utensils from which the affairs take their name grow in elegance, naturally with the demand for them. Exquisite gold chafing dishes are by no means rare, and silver ones are on every side. And their use has extended from the swell artist set where it originated to the heart of the old Dutch aristocracy. 

Receipts for rum omelet, oyster stews with a dash of old Madeira, creamed oysters, terrapin, and dozens of other chafing dish receipts, are carefully treasured in the amateur cook's handwriting... and followed to the letter. The etiquette of these parties is tacit but pronounced. A butler must not appear, or other servant, after the merest preliminaries of the supper, and a chafing-dish story or confidence, is one that would have been impossible in the formality of a dinner. – New York Times, 1893

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