Teaching Children Table Manners

Deck out the table prettily, with special linen, china, silver, with flowers and, possibly, lighted candles. Then make it a rule not to fuss with the children about anything at all, table manners, accidents, how much or how little they eat. Just see that the conversation is pleasant, mind your own manners, and you'll make the desired impression. A child isn’t ready for a regular seat at the family table until he is eight or nine.

Five-year-old David's table manners are a source of real concern to his parents. No doubt the problem is exaggerated in their minds because the youngster takes most of his meals with them. There are many bad features to such an arrangement. First, there is a tendency at the family table to judge manners by adult standards. There is likely, therefore, to be too much attention paid to essentally unimportant details. As a result, not only will the child's manners remain unimproved, but he will lose interest in the meal itself. 

A child, moreover, is expected to sit quietly at the adult table and not act bored, although the conversation may be way over his head. He is not supposed to show dissatisfaction when more interesting food than what he gets is served to mother and father. Under the circumstances, one of the chief reasons for having a child eat with his parents—to let him learn table manners by imitation—is defeated. But where a child takes the majority of his meals alone, the occasion of eating with mother and father becomes for him both a privilege and a special event. 

Such a meal easily can be built around dishes which all like and can partake of. A party atmosphere can be made to prevail. Deck out the table prettily, with special linen, china, silver, with flowers and, possibly, lighted candles. Then make it a rule not to fuss with the children about anything at all, table manners, accidents, how much or how little they eat. Just see that the conversation is pleasant, mind your own manners, and you'll make the desired impression. A child isn’t ready for a regular seat at the family table until he is eight or nine.– By Jane Coward, 1942

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