Etiquette and Behavioral Trends

“A man should remove his hat in a parlor car but not in a day coach,” says an etiquette book of the early Pullman era.” — From this current era, we say a woman should remove her elbow from the dining car table!

“A man should remove his hat in a parlor car but not in a day coach,” says an etiquette book of the early Pullman era. A ridiculous distinction, which Americans have had the good sense to overcome, for nowadays we keep our hats on in the parlor cars, too. Indeed, examination of the etiquette books of the past suggests that there must always have been a certain lunatic trend in human behavior. We don't want to go quaint on you, but bear with us a moment while we quote from "Etiquette for Ladies," published in 1838: “When alone with him, a lady may address her husband by his Christian name.”

We don't for a moment suppose that the lady of 1838 was always able to stick to this rule. But if she did slip: if she did thoughtlessly, in public, address her husband as “Joe” assuming that that was his name, she knew that she had been inexcusably vulgar. Of course, if his name wasn't Joe, it was probably even worse. It is hard to exaggerate the supreme niceness of the ladies of that day. We knew an old lady who, when her husband sprained his ankle, refused to remove his sock in order to bind it up. “I have never seen your grandfather's bare feet,” she told her grandchildren. And shuddered as she said it. —Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1942

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia