When the Widowed Remarry

We're delighted to let you know that we'll be married October 12 at 11 a.m. at the First Methodist Church. It would help make our day if you could come to the ceremony, and to the wedding brunch at the Comstock Hotel. Please don't bring a gift... your good wishes are sufficient.

Q. I am a middle-aged widow marrying a widower. We will have a small informal church wedding inviting close friends and relatives. My etiquette book says that the invitation should be personal notes. I would like a sample wording of such a note from you. Also, we would like to include a “no gifts please” note. Would this be aсceptable?  P.R., Fort Worth, Texas.

A. Your invitation might read something like this: 

Dear Mary and Tom:

We're delighted to let you know that we'll be married October 12 at 11 a.m. at the First Methodist Church. It would help make our day if you could come to the ceremony, and to the wedding brunch at the Comstock Hotel. Please don't bring a gift... your good wishes are sufficient.

Pam and Joe

You will note that I recommend that the invitation be extended by both you and your fiancé. The traditional way is to have the woman. write, extend and accept all invitations. The start of a marriage is a good time to start eliminating this archaic custom.- By Maureen Eleva Reardon, 1974

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia