Etiquette of La Politesse Française

Do not eat in the street, do not smoke a pipe in the street, do not smoke a cigar in the street, if you are walking with a lady – “not even if you happen to be this lady’s husband.”

Lessons in French Politeness

According to the author of “La Politesse Française,” a work recently published in Paris, a gentleman, when he gives his hand to a friend, must press his friend’s hand but not shake it. If he is about to shake hands with a peasant, he must present his hand ungloved, or the peasant will consider himself insulted. If he is about to shake hands with a lady, he must keep his gloves on. When he offers to conduct a lady to the piano, he must, taking her hand, half-close his own. 

In dancing with a lady, he must “not permit himself” to squeeze her hand; and he must, if he wishes to show himself a true gentleman – or, at least, “un véritable gentleman” spend 18,000 francs, or $3,500, a year on his gloves. A gentleman who spent this each a year on his gloves, of various kinds and colors, would probably, if only for the sake of consistency, treat himself every day to at least one new hat. All, however, that we are told on the subject, is that a gentleman’s hat should always be “bright and brilliant.” A gentleman never altogether separates himself from his hat, though it is not etiquette to wear it in a room. In the street, on meeting an equal of his own sex, he takes it off for a moment. Оn meeting a lady, or superior of his own sex, he remains uncovered until he is told to put his hat on. 

Do not eat in the street, do not smoke a pipe in the street, do not smoke a cigar in the street, if you are walking with a lady – “not even if you happen to be this lady’s husband.” It seems odd to tell a gentleman who is supposed to spend $3,500 a year on his gloves not to smoke a pipe in the street, but we have reproduced this caution as we find it. When you bow, bow properly, but not to deeply that your vertebral column will make a right angle with your legs. 

If an officer in uniform salutes you, do not make yourself ridiculous by returning his salute in military fashion. A lawyer will not only think you silly, but will be greatly irritated if, visiting him on a matter of business, you ask him how he is, inquire after the health of his wife, express a hope that the children are all well, and so on. This sort of talk should be reserved for friends whose time is not valuable or who have no right to charge for it. – The New York Times, 1876

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia