Petra Carsetti’s 10 Commandments of Italian Dinner Party Etiquette

Use utensils correctly: Remember that pasta is not skewered but is lifted with a fork and then brought to the mouth. 

1. Be a good host or hostess: The most important rule is to be welcoming and empathetic. People will remember much more feeling of a beautiful evening spent, than the correct position of the cutlery. 
2. Listen to your table guests: As a good host or hostess, try to steer the conversation so that everyone feels like part of the discussion. Banned topics at the table are health, disease, politics, sports, death. Better to talk about topics that unite and do not divide like time, a journey, a good book, a film, an exhibition ... 
3. Pass to the right: Be ready to pour water and wine, or to pass  dishes to those who sit next to us. Usually it should be the man who does this first, with the woman sitting on his right. 
4. Keep the table clutter free: Mobile phones should not be placed upon, or at the table. (This currently applies to covid masks as well) Mobile phones should be silenced and placed in pockets or handbags. If you receive a call (on silent ringtone) try to answer only for emergencies and do so quietly with minimal disruption at the table. The other guests do not need to hear the whole conversation. 
5. Use good manners: Eat without calling attention to yourself. One should develop good habits like chewing with the mouth closed and not “talking to the bite,” (speaking all the way until another bite of food goes into your mouth,) or playing/gesticulating with the cutlery. 
6. Dine without fuss: Do not blow on hot dishes, but wait a few seconds for them to cool. 
7. Practice good posture: To eat, do not bring your head and mouth toward the plate but bring your food to your mouth, while keeping your posture erect.
8. Don’t rock out: Do not rock back and forth in the chair, but sit composed. Your wrists and hands should be visible on the table, but never your elbows.
9. Use utensils correctly: Remember that pasta is not skewered but is lifted with a fork and then brought to the mouth. 
10. Toast elegantly: Keep your glass rim clean if you are going to make a toast. Use your napkin to dab your mouth, before and after drinking if necessary. Do not clink glasses and please do not say “cin cin.” You can make a more thoughtful toast with your own words and looking in the eyes of the people with whom you are toasting.

Petra Carsetti was born into a gastronomic minded family… true lovers of excellent foods and wines. From an early age she showed a great passion for the table, which she later developed by working in important, well-known Italian restaurants. Since 2005, she has written many books on food and wine, along with guides to Italian restaurants, specializing also in galateo and etiquette at the Accademia Italiana Galateo and ANCEP (the Association of Ceremonialists for Public Institute). She teaches etiquette in schools to adults and children, is a consultant for various political and economic authorities, and she has a weekly column in a historic newspaper. She also writes for various other newspapers, and in September she will come out with her new book, “GalaTime: it is always time for good manners”!

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