Etiquette Restraints for “Commoners”

 “A deferential manner need not be any barrier to pleasant intercourse,” a proposition that it rather nullified by a later reminder that if “presented to any member of the royal family, or if they shake hands on meeting any one whom they know, it is quite wrong to speak unless some remark is first made,” presumably by the royal person, though this fact is not altogether clear in the reading. How “pleasant intercourse” is going to be brought about by such a one-sided condition of affairs is not at once apparent. – Above, Princess Victoria. She was the fourth child and second daughter of King Edward VII and Alexandra of Denmark, and the younger sister of King George V. 
– photo source, Pinterest  

It is very illuminating to the democratic American mind to read of the restraints and ceremonials that surround royalty on the other side of the water. A weekly journal in a paper on “Etiquette Regarding Royalty,” starts off with a warning that “it is a fatal mistake to relax any etiquette due to them,” meaning the royal personages, and regrets that this is sometimes done. The writer then goes on with the gracious intimation that “a deferential manner need not be any barrier to pleasant intercourse,” a proposition that it rather nullified by a later reminder that if “presented to any member of the royal family, or if they shake hands on meeting any one whom they know, it is quite wrong to speak unless some remark is first made,” presumably by the royal person, though this fact is not altogether clear in the reading. How “pleasant intercourse” is going to be brought about by such a one-sided condition of affairs is not at once apparent.


Further on in the paper it is pointed out that “If any one is dancing in the circle where the royal family may be waltzing, either at a Court ball or otherwise, it is etiquette to stop when they are dancing, so as to avoid the possibility of being in their way. As a rule, one part of the ballroom at Buckingham Palace is specially kept for the royal circle, and the general company do not dance in it. Partners for any of the young Princesses are chosen, and the Vice Chamberlain or other officials inform the gentleman that he is to have the honor of dancing with a Princess. In no case would any one ask for a dance unless such intimation be given.” All of which is enlightenment that most Americans prefer to read about than to have to conform to, and makes one turn with relief to the simplicity of our White House code of manners. – The New York Times, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia