Etiquette for the June Bride

Don't fail to write your own notes. The habit some girls have of shifting this responsibility to their bridesmaids is rude, and gives rise to many ridiculous blunders. Don't make your notes perfunctory and stereotyped. A bride often makes a bad impression by her wedding notes to strangers, that it takes years to efface. Be grateful without being gushing. Don't gage your gratitude by the value of the gift sent. Nothing more quickly shows lack of breeding. Besides, it is stupid, as you can never tell when your friends will compare your notes. 

Mrs. Edsel B. Ford's bridal party, 1916 —Photo source, Pinterest  

Here are some Don’ts for the June Bride:

• Don't fail to have an open air wedding if your grounds permit. This is the one month of the year for that loveliest of wedding ceremonies. 
• Don't be terrified lest your outdoor ceremony will be ruined by rain. Have all your arrangements made to be married indoors; you will probably break the hoodoo of the unprepared and draw sunshine.
• Don't get a more elaborate trousseau than you need. Better hold over part of your money and get your handsomest frocks in the Fall, when you will need them more.
• Don't be a procrastinator in ordering your trousseau Last minute fittings do not make for a beauteous bride, particularly on hot June days.
• Don't spend a fortune in decorations— if you cannot afford it Nothing is lovelier than the June garden flowers at a wedding, and your girl friends should have taste enough to arrange them artistically. 
• Don't invite more than your house— in case of rain— or your church can accommodate comfortably. A “jam” on a hot June day is torment.
• Don't lack a system in receiving and answering your wedding presents. See that your name and address of the sender, also the place where the gift is bought, is marked in an alphabeted book, as each package is opened. Check off each name as soon as a note of thanks is written.
• Don't use your calling card for your “thank you” notes. It is wretched form. A wedding gift demands a gracious and grateful answer in the first person.
• Don't fail to write your own notes. The habit some girls have of shifting this responsibility to their bridesmaids is rude, and gives rise to many ridiculous blunders.
• Don't make your notes perfunctory and stereotyped. A bride often makes a bad impression by her wedding notes to strangers, that it takes years to efface. Be grateful without being gushing. 
• Don't gage your gratitude by the value of the gift sent. Nothing more quickly shows lack of breeding. Besides, it is stupid, as you can never tell when your friends will compare your notes. 
• Don't fail to mention the name of your fiancé in writing your notes of thanks. The gifts are sent to you both, though they belong to the bride. 
• Don't exhaust yourself note-writing. Keep up your notes as well as you can, by daily writing, but stop for at least 2 days before the wedding. Moderate delays are excusable; long delays the height of rudeness.
• Don't write wedding notes on shabby paper or hotel paper. Have correspondence cards or fine linen paper, with your monogram, preferably. 
• Don't be guilty of the execrable form of criticizing wedding gifts. think what you please, but please keep your comments unsaid. Don't cut loose, even to your dearest confidant — she'll think none the better of you and may tell.
• Don't stint on rest in the last days before the wedding. Let the family work, if you will not go in for simplicity. It's a bride’s privilege to look fresh and as beautiful as you can. When overtired it is bound to show. 
• Don't go into matrimony thoughtlessly. If you have doubts, even at the last minute that he is not the right man, better risk talk and break off the match. The notoriety and disappointment are bad, but not half so bad as a lifetime of unhappiness.
• Don't expect the impossible in a husband. Remember, you are marrying a man, not a hero in a novel. If he has faults, is not up to your ideal, he is doubtless thinking the same of you. Love much and learn to make allowances, if you would avoid unhappiness. Your married life may not be that of your dreams, but it should be something far deeper and sweeter. — The New York Times, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia