Yucatecan Etiquette

A Yucatecan treat, pan dulce, or “sweet bread.”

Photo from the Etiquipedia Private Library

Some of the Commendable Traits of Our Spanish-American Neighbors

Yucatán gentlemen, higher in the social scale than John the Baptist, are less extravagant in their expressions of gallantry. In saluting ladies they still observe the Spanish form “a los pies de usted,”— “at your feet:" to which figure of speech the correct response is “Beso a usted la mano,” —“I kiss the hand to you." In closing an ordinary letter of business or friendship every body in this part of the world always adds B. S. M., meaning “Beso sus manos,” — “I kiss your hands." 

The Spanish-American, like his Latin brethren across the sea, talks quite as much with hands and eyes, as with his tongue, and shrugs his shoulders as frequently as a Frenchman. One of the prettiest of the many gestures in general use here, is called the “beso soplado” — throwing kisses by gathering the fingers of the right hand into a close group, touching the lips, then throwing them out like a fan, at the same time, blowing on the hand as it is outstretched toward the person for whom the demonstration is intended, thus signifying that five kisses are given at once. 

Gentlemen manifest their appreciation of female beauty by gazing intently into the faces of the ladies, whether in the street, in the church or at the opera. This custom, which elsewhere would be resented as an impertinence, is here accepted as it is meant, merely as a flattering tribute to the fair one’s charms. Between acts of the opera, men rise to their feet, and with leveled glasses, pay admiring homage to those dark-eyed señoritas, whose beauty has attracted them. Then the pretty language of the fan comes into play, and the well-pleased maidens carry away blissful memories of gallant knights and “eyes that spake again.”

In ascending a stairway, the lady takes the gentleman’s arm, as at the North: but in descending, he always goes a step or two ahead, holding her firmly by the hand, to avoid accidents, with as much solicitude as if she were an invalid or a cripple. The same careful attention is offered to the veriest stranger, as naturally, and with far more regularity and promptitude than our own countrymen show in relinquishing a seat in a crowded car to one of the weaker sex. 

On leaving the house after having made a friendly call, the salutation with the hand, the oft repeated bow and the “a los pies de usted,” are continued, just as long as one is in sight, and instead of finding any thing tedious and wearisome in this long-drawn-out civility, one feels as if he had been transported back to the days of chivalry. One highly commendable trait of Yucatecan character is that they will never say any thing disagreeable to you, either on their own account or in repeating the gossip to others. For instance, in alluding to one’s age, the greatest delicacy is always exercised. 

If one is considered advanced in years, he is spoken of as “viejito — “a little old.” A girl may remain unwedded thirty years or more before she is considered “a soltera,” or, in plain English, an old maid; and after that, nothing more offensive is ever said than that she is “very fastidiosa,”— “very difficult to please,” and they sometimes add that she is “good to dress the Saints,” meaning that, having no family of her own to make garments for, she may devote her time to the holy work of making vestments for the sacred images. — Fannie B.Ward, in Troy, N.Y. Times, 1888

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia