Etiquette and “Society’s Exquisites”

Going to parties hours after the time named— is only indulged in by those who disregard all considerations  except mistaken ideas of what constitutes “fashion;” but this notion is held by so many, that it has become, as the correspondent says, “an evil almost intolerable by those that give parties.” 

Of Interest to Polite Society

A correspondent of the Buffalo Commercial Advertiser calls that paper’s attention to etiquette at parties

He thinks that something ought to be said to correct the false notion that it is polite to go to a party after 10 o’clock, even when invited for 7 o’clock. He mentions an instance of the inconveniences that arise from which occurred at an elegant party given by a prominent Buffalo citizen the other evening. Specified in the cards of invitation for the party to assemble, was 7 o’clock. The more substantial and considerate portion of the guests paid some attention to the time fixed, and arrive there shortly after the hour designated. Others came two hours after, and some of the “extra exquisite” ones did not arrive until than three hours after they were to be present. 

Our correspondent gives the names of some of our most prominent citizens, who in the spirit of true politeness, arrived a very short time after the hour named by their hosts. He truly asks that when the hour is fixed in the invitation, it is to be presumed that it expresses the wish of the giver of the party, und it is etiquette, therefore, for the invited party to pay some attention to that wish, they propone to avail themselves of the hospitality. The contrary practice— that of going to parties hours after the time named— is only indulged in by those who disregard all considerations  except mistaken ideas of what constitutes “fashion;” but this notion is held by so many, that it has become, as the correspondent says, “an evil almost intolerable by those that give parties.” – “Ladies’ Gossip” in the Daly Alta, 1867

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia