Monday, June 2, 2025

Gilded Age Etiquette of Eating

In taking your place at the table you should not get too close nor to far away. Some authorities say a foot is about the proper distance, but you may not desire to wait to have the measure taken, it is best to make sure that you get in reach of it. If you do not drink wine it is best not to deliver a temperance lecture to those who do. In partaking of fruits, such as oranges, cut them into small morsels before eating and never swallow them whole. – Above, 2 different types of gilded age silver “orange holders” from the book, What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond... 

Almost any one can eat, but to eat according to the established rules of good society is another story. If you happen to discover that a great man eats pie with his knife, do not follow his example in the hope of acquiring greatness, for ten to one that is not how he came to be great.

The first thing to be considered is how to get to the table. In the rush it is considered bad form to get ahead of the ladies. Give them a chance. In taking your place at the table you should not get too close nor to far away. Some authorities say a foot is about the proper distance, but you may not desire to wait to have the measure taken, it is best to make sure that you get in reach of it. If you do not drink wine it is best not to deliver a temperance lecture to those who do. In partaking of fruits, such as oranges, cut them into small morsels before eating and never swallow them whole.

Never attempt to talk when the mouth is full If you are spoken to when in such a predicament it is best - provided you are not familiar with the deaf and dumb alphabet - to quietly and unostentatiously slip the morsel from your mouth and drop it under the table; but in case it be something you are loath to surrender, you might place it in charge of some reliable person till you have finished your discourse. In matters of this kind you will have to depend largely argely upon your own tact, as no iron-bound rules can be given.

Remember that you are not supposed to quit eating simply because you have gotten enough. You must have sufficient regard for the feelings of others to go on making a pretense at eating till all have finished. I have this from good authority. and though it may seem that if all adhere to this rule there would be no end to the feast - that it would result in an endless chain that would reach into the misty realms of futurity - yet experience has proved that there will always be one ill-bred person present who has no more sense than to quit when he gets enough, and so furnish a pretext for those of gentle breeding to bring the agony to a close. – Marysville Daily Appeal, 1898


🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

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