Mark Twain’s Tale of Camp Etiquette

The bully in the saloon had his choice between beans or death, and he knew it. - Public domain image of  Mark Twain

Beans in Camp: Mark Twain Tells of an Example of Strict Etiquette and Fair Play

There was a strict camp etiquette, which was recognized and considered law by all, and it was of this etiquette that Mark Twain told me an example.

    A Boston man was eating breakfast early one morning, at a table near the open door and the half bar, half restaurant of the place. He was just finishing his plate of pork and beans when two Missouri men passed along and saw the Boston man and his breakfast. They stopped within a foot or two. “Look at that,” said the bigger of the Missouri men, contemptuously. “Do you see what that blankety-blankety-blank Boston thing is eating? Why, down in Missouri where I come from we feed them things to our horses. Only the brutes eat that grub down there.”

Presently the bully stepped inside and sat down opposite the Boston man at the same table. When the plate of beans had been eaten the Boston man called out to the bartender: “Pete, give me another plateful. Pile it up. I like ‘em.” When the heaped-up plate came, the Boston man, quick as a flash, had pulled out his revolver, had the Missouri man covered with it, and then, pushing the full plateful of beans across the table, told the Missouri man to “eat it and like it,” or he'd shoot him, like the dog that he was.

The bully had his choice between beans or death, and he knew it. When he had eaten every bean, he was made to say that he liked beans, and then, and not till then, did the Boston man put his pistol up, pay for both orders of beans and leave the saloon.

“Now,” said Mark, “the reason the Missouri man didn’t whip out his gun and shoot as soon as the bean-eater’s back was turned, was because of camp etiquette. Each man had his fun with the other, and they were even. If the Boston man had been shot, the Missouri man, as quick as news could fly, would have had his body filled with lead from the revolver of every man in camp, regardless of party. You see, we were quite sticklers for fair play in those days.” – New York Journal, 1896

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia