Use of Fork an Index to Breeding

A screenshot of a dining scene in the “Cranford” series shows a young woman eating with her knife after her host models the behavior himself. The dining scene is set in 1840 England. – “It is only within the last half century that the practice of eating with forks has prevailed; yet nowadays it would be regarded almost as an insult to one’s readers even to mention the fact that the knife should never be put in the mouth.”

“It is the manner which is better than all.” 

-Sir Phillip Sidney

Many persons have an idea that it is consistent with good table manners to assist the fork with a small piece of bread held in the left hand. Of course, if enough well bred persons though do so and acted accordingly it would be correct, for after all, good manners are nothing in the world but the present usage of those persons who form what, for lack of a letter term, we call the “better class.” 

This does not mean the wealthier people or the people who claim most aristocratic ancestry; but it does mean the people who take life seriously enough and care enough for their neighbors and for themselves to wish to conduct themselves in the way that will be most congenial and will be most conductive to their own success and happiness. So, although some careful persons use bread to help push food on the fork, the consensus of opinion seems to be unfavorable to the practice. As one recent authority on table manners puts it; “The resort to the bit of bread as a pusher is merely childish.”

Worse than childish is the habit of loading the fork with the knife: at least it is contrary to the best American usage. Children ought to be taught very early the knack of managing their fork, without the assistance of fingers, fork or knife. It is not easy, but to eat with chopsticks must be considerably more difficult, and very young Japanese children learn to be skillful with those implements. 

It might be said that the proper use of the fork is as much a test of the good manners of the American as the ability to use chopsticks is of the Asian. But the fork has been used as an eating implement only in comparatively recent times. The Asians were facile with chopsticks hundreds of years , ago, when the only forks in our homes were those employed in the kitchen for lifting meat in cooking. It is only within the last half century that the practice of eating with forks has prevailed; yet nowadays it would be regarded almost as an insult to one’s readers even to mention the fact that the knife should never be put in the mouth. 

About thirty-five years ago, Alfred Ayres, writing in a little handbook of good manners, warns his readers not to be inconsiderate of the feelings of others in this matter of eating with the fork. He tells his readers that if they happen to be dining at a home where only the old fashioned steel forks are used, that they should eat with their knives, as others do. “Do not let it be seen,” he says, “that you have any objection to doing so, nor let it be known that you ever do otherwise. He that advised us to do in Rome as the Romans do was a true gentleman.” – Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

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