Etiquette and Intemperance, 1855

When people meet, their first impulse is to seek for some bond of sympathy between them. They try to find something which they can unite upon; and the most universal thing is eating and drinking.

INTEMPERANCE, or the inordinate use of intoxicating liquors, is a vice, to the evils of which this country is fully awakened; but it is not yet decided as an absolute and incontrovertible truth, that the use of stimulants with food, or taken on convivial occasions, is in all cases, and of necessity, injurious. We shall consider it an open question, and speak of the custom of drinking, as allowed in polite society, of pure wines and in moderate quantities, as we find it, without either approval or commendation. With this introduction we proceed to discuss the etiquette of the table, which for various reasons is among the most important and indispensable of the usages of polite Society.

When people meet, their first impulse is to seek for some bond of sympathy between them. They try to find something which they can unite upon; and the most universal thing is eating and drinking. From the most savage state to the highest civilization, eating is a mark of friendship and a manifestation of hospitality. Enter the tent of an Arab, and when you have eaten with him, you are safe in his protection— safe if you have been his bitterest foe. But in civilization, the man who asks you to drink or to dine, may be plotting to swindle you.

Still, eating together is friendly. Few people like to eat alone, and in this country we eat much in company. We delight in the long tables d'hote, and in public dinners; yet one of the most trying things to a novice in society is to dine in an elegant company. —From “The Illustrated Manual of Good Behavior and Polite Accomplishments,” 1855

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