Monaco: Elaborate Etiquette and Vice

Prince Albert I of Monaco, circa 1910
–Public domain image

 I wish I had leisure to speak at length of this astonishing state, smaller than a French village, but where one finds an absolute Sovereign, bishops, an army Jesuits and divinity students more numerous than that of the Prince, an artillery the ordnance of which is almost rifled, an etiquette more elaborate than that of the late Louis XIV, principle government more despotic than those of William of Prussia, and, in addition to all this, a magnificent toleration for the vices of humanity.

On the other hand, let us salute this virtuous peacefully disposed King, with fearing neither invasions nor revolutions, rules tranquilly over his happy little people in the midst of a court ceremonial, in which is preserved intact the tradition of four reverences, 26 hand kissings and all the forms observed in a bygone era in the presence of great rulers. This Monarch, above everything neither bloodthirsty nor revenge and when he banishes-for he does banish-the sentence is carried out with infinite tact.

Is it necessary to produce proofs of this? A pigheaded gambler, after a day of bad luck, insulted the sovereign. He was expelled from the country by Royal decree. For a month he roamed around the forbidden paradise, fearing the flaming sword of the archangel in the shape gendarme's saber. Finally he one plucked up courage, crossed the frontier, gained in 30 seconds the heart of the country and entered the Casino. But suddenly an official stopped him. "Were you not banished, monsieur?" "Certainly I was, but I am going back by the next train. " "Oh, in that case it is all right. You can enter, monsieur." And every week he returned, and on each occasion the same official put to him the same question, which he answered in the same fashion. But a few years ago a serious and entirely novel case arose in the principality. A murder had been committed.

A man, a native of Monaco, not one of the transient strangers of whom one meets legions, but a married man, in a moment of passion had killed his wife. He had killed her without reason,
without any extenuating circumstances. This opinion was unanimous throughout the whole principality. The supreme court met to judge this exceptional case, for never before had murder been committed, and the wretch was condemned to death. The outraged sovereign signed the death warrant.

It only remained to execute the criminal. But here a difficulty presented itself. The country possessed neither executioner nor guillotine. What was to be done? On the advice of the foreign minister, the Prince entered into negotiations with the French government to obtain the loan of a remover of heads and his apparatus. Long deliberations in the ministerial office at Paris. Finally they replied and forwarded a minute of expenses for moving the guillotine and for the services of the expert. The total was 16,000 francs.

"His Majesty of Monaco thought that the affair was going to cost him pretty dear; the murderer assuredly was not worth so much money. Sixteen thousand francs for the neck of a rascal! The devil! He then preferred the same request– to the Italian government. A King, a brother in Royalty, would doubtless not prove such a hard bargainer as a republic. The Italian government sent a minute of expenses which amounted to 12,000 francs.

Twelve thousand francs! Why, it would be necessary to impose a new tax, a tax of 2 francs a head on the inhabitants. That would be enough to stir up unknown troubles in the state. He contemplated decapitating the ruffian by an ordinary soldier. But the general, on being consulted, was doubtful whether any of his men had had sufficient sword practice to acquit themselves satisfactorily of a task demanding great experience in handling the weapon.

So the Prince again convened the supreme court and submitted to them this embarrassing position of affairs. The court sat a long time without discovering any practical solution. At last the president suggested commuting the death sentence into one of imprisonment for life, and the suggestion was adopted. But they had no prison. It was necessary to improvise one. A jailer was also commissioned who took charge of the prisoner.

For six months everything went well. The convict slept all day on a mattress in his hut, and his guard did the same on a chair just beside the door facing, the passersby. But the Prince is economical- it is his least fault- and requires the details of the smallest expenditures incurred throughout his dominions. Among these were placed before him the items of the disbursements relating to the creation of a new office, the maintenance of the prison, prisoner and jailer. The outlay on the last was a heavy drain on the Royal purse. His face lengthened visibly, and when he considered it might last forever, for the condemned man was still young, he insisted on his minister of justice taking measures to suppress this expense."

The minister held a consultation with the president of the tribunal, and the two agreed that the office of jailer might be abolished. The prisoner, required to guard himself all alone, would not fail to escape, and this would solve the question to the satisfaction of all. The jailer was thereupon sent back to his family, and one of the under cooks of the palace was simply required to carry, morning and evening, food to the prisoner. But that gentleman made no attempt to recover his liberty.

One day indeed when they had failed to provide him with nourishment he coolly presented himself to claim it, and henceforth it was his custom, in order to save the cook a journey, to come at meal hours and eat with the servants of the palace, with whom he had become friendly. After breakfast he would take a stroll as far as Monte Carlo. Occasionally he would enter the Casino and risk a few francs at play. When he won, he would treat himself to a good dinner at one of the leading hotels, then he would return to his prison and carefully lock the door from the inside. He never slept out a single night.

The situation was becoming difficult, not for the condemned man, but for his judges. Once more the court assembled, and it was decided that they should invite the criminal to depart from the states of Monaco. On this decision being communicated to him he merely replied: "I perceive you are joking. Come, now. Why should I go away, I, indeed? I have no means of living. I have no longer any family. What do you wish me to do? I was condemned to death. You didn't execute me. I said nothing. Then I was condemned to imprisonment for life and handed over to a jailer. You deprived me of my jailer. Still I said nothing. "Now you ask me to get out of the country. No, thank you. I am a prisoner, your prisoner, judged and condemned by you. I am carrying out my punishment faithfully. Here I stop."

The supreme court was dumfounded. The Prince flew into a terrible rage and ordered them to act. They applied themselves diligently to deliberating. The outcome was it was decided they should offer the prisoner a pension of 600 francs a year to live in another country. He accepted. He has bought a little inclosed plot of land within five minutes' walk of the realm of his former Sovereign; he lives happily on his estate, cultivating a few vegetables and holding potentates in contempt.-From the French of Guy de Maupassant in Romance, 1895

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