Manners for Men from 1897

The book, authored by a writer for Vogue, held etiquette truths that both men and women needed to read. On the last page we are told that one of the marks of a gentleman is his complete mastery of himself under the most trying and aggravating circumstances, and furthermore this: “Under great provocation the expletive ‘damn’ is tolerated in society, but it should be whispered and not pronounced aloud.”

But helpful manners, wisely suited to bachelors, filled the 1987 tome: “The public restaurant or dining room is the place for a bachelor supper when ladies are guests. A private room is not proper, and your guests want to see and be seen... All meals in a restaurant, unless organized on the spur of a moment, are ordered beforehand and everything, including the waiter's tip, arranged and settled for. If you have not an account at the restaurant, pay the bill at the time you arrange the menu and reserve the table.” And: “The average man is judged by his appearance and his deportment in public. His dress, his bearing, his conduct toward women and his fellow-men, are telling characteristics. In the street, when walking with a woman—the term ‘lady’ being objectionable, except in case of distinction—every man should be on his mettle. Common sense, which is the basis of all etiquette, teaches him that he should be her protector. Therefore, under general circumstances, his place is on the street or outer side. Should there be a crowd on the inner side, should the walking be muddy or rough, or should there be a building in process of repair, or one or the other of the inconveniences of city life, then the man should take the side which will enable him to shield his fair companion from all annoyance. At night a man offers his arm to a woman. In the daytime etiquette allows this only when the sidewalk is very rough, when there are steps to climb, a crowd to be piloted through, or a street crossing to effect. In any one of these emergencies suggest, ‘I think you will find it better to take my arm.’ A man never walks bodkin—that is, sandwiched between two women.” – from Walter Germain’s, The Complete Bachelor: Manners for Men

Review of “The Complete Bachelor”, By the author of the “As Seen by Him Papers.” D. Appleton & Co., New York, Price $1.25

The author gives as a reason for this little book, that while he was conducting the query department in Vogue, he received letters from all parts of the United States asking for information on certain details of etiquette which seem to have been overlooked by the writers of etiquette manuals, and these correspondents wanted the questions answered from the New York standpoint. 

Herein the bachelor is warned against the faults which will make him “impossible” in society. On the last page we are told that one of the marks of a gentleman is his complete mastery of himself under the most trying and aggravating circumstances, and furthermore this: “Under great provocation the expletive ‘damn’ is tolerated in society, but it should be whispered and not pronounced aloud.” – San Francisco Call, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia