Etiquette and Arranging Introductions

 

It is more difficult to judge of others who, quiet and reserved, reveal but little of themselves at first. The whole arrangement, in fact, bristles with difficulties and much courage is needed to undertake it. So many good old families are poor nowadays, and millionaires have raised the standard of living to so high and costly a level, that there is no lack of ladies who venture upon the arduous task of chaperonage. – photo source, Pinterest

It is now a very usual thing for ladies of position in British society to receive girls into their houses and introduce them to their friends. It is a commercial transaction, and the terms, as a rule, are high. One lady of rank charges ten guineas a week. Another requires £1000 for the season. All are most particular about the girl being presentable, possessing good credentials, and dressing well. In the first interview a very critical investigation is made. 

Manner, speech, gesture and bearing are all taken into consideration. “Can I introduce her as a friend to my friends?” is the question in the mind of the chaperon. The impossible girl is soon disposed of. It is more difficult to judge of others who, quiet and reserved, reveal but little of themselves at first. The whole arrangement, in fact, bristles with difficulties and much courage is needed to undertake it. So many good old families are poor nowadays, and millionaires have raised the standard of living to so high and costly a level, that there is no lack of ladies who venture upon the arduous task of chaperonage.

Those who are inexperienced in the matter usually make the mistake of not settling all details before the chaperonage begins. Terms and what they include should all be put down in black and white. The question as to who shall pay for carriages, cabs, railway fares, seats at theatres, etc... ought to be preliminarily settled. Otherwise there may be disagreeable differences of opinion, always most carefully to be avoided. Sometimes the chaperon promises more than she afterwards finds she can perform. 

Invitations to dances, for instance, are not easy to get for a strange girl. Then, if the hostess’ daughter receives one and accepts it, the girl-guest may possibly feel aggrieved. A bright, pleasant girl will soon make her way, but there are heavy, uninteresting girls who hang on hand and seem to desire everything to be done for them in the matter of their social success. They expect to receive it without having exerted themselves to earn it. — From Etiquette for Every Day, by Mrs. Humphry, 1902

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