Dancing Party Etiquette

“Either the man or maid servant who opens the front door must remain in the hall, giving clear directions of the way to the dressing-rooms. There should be a capable woman always in attendance in this same apartment for the taking off of wraps, buttoning gloves and adjusting shoes. On the dressing table there should be all the feminine appurtenances of the toilet, such as shoe and glove buttoners, hairpins, large and small toilet perfumery and face powder, the maid remaining during the evening in the room to repair dresses if a stitch gives way daring the dancing hours.” — Shown above, an 1892 patent for cord clasps for ladies dress gloves.

Four Elements  Essential:

Effective Decorations, Illuminations, the Supper and the Music

There are four elements essential to a successful dancing party — effective decorations, brilliant illuminations, a well appointed supper and tbe best of music, as many string pieces as the hostess can afford. Lemonade, tempered with apollinaris water, is appropriately served in a punchbowl at one end of the reception-room. 

Either the man or maid servant who opens the front door must remain in the hall, giving clear directions of the way to the dressing-rooms. There should be a capable woman always in attendance in this same apartment for the taking off of wraps, buttoning gloves and adjusting shoes. 

On the dressing table there should be all the feminine appurtenances of the toilet, such as shoe and glove buttoners, hairpins, large and small toilet perfumery and face powder, the maid remaining during the evening in the room to repair dresses if a stitch gives way daring the dancing hours. If dancing is to take the form of a cotillon, chairs should be provided for the mothers or chaperons ; all other furniture being removed, and breakable objects carefully stored away for that one night. 

Young girls ought to dress in light colors of gauze-like materials or fluffy stuffs, combined with delicate silks. But all costumes should be selected to enhance the youthful appearance, while the elders wear demi-toilets becoming the occasion. The hostess can receive her guests alone, or if she has daughters or young friends, they can assist her. But the eldest son, or some young man friend, should be for that evening the master of ceremonies, making himself generally useful in arranging affairs. 

The hostess stands near the drawing room door, her daughters or young friends a few feet away, yet near enough to receive the guests before the dancing commences. A young lady enters the room first, her chaperon following. If there are ladies without a chaperone coming with their maid, then the eldest should take precedence. But generally the chaperon is on hand. A young married lady, accompanied by her husband naturally takes precedence. But to enter leaning on the arm of her husband is in very bad taste. 

The dancing should be begun by the eldest daughter of the house, the hostess selecting for her partner her nearest kinsman or friend. A basket of flowers sent the same day of the dance to the hostess of the occasion is a graceful attention. And a gentleman can, in good taste, send a box of loose flowers to any young lady whom he knows will be his partner in the cotilion. 

Young ladies after a dance, request their partners to leave them with their chaperones after the german. Young women would do well to remember that new dances appear nearly every season, and to be a success as a dancer it is necessary to acquire the last new ballroom step.

Either the hostess, or one of her family, should be the persons selected when an introduction is desired at a dancing party. All good waltzers are eagerly sought after, but care should be taken that no one gentleman should have this favor extended to him too often.

A young lady refusing one gentleman for a dance and accepting another, is a breach of social etiquette. If a refusal is once given, then she should not dance in that set, whatever it may be. The clever hostess takes care that all guests have partners. The “wallflower” is unknown in the house of a good social leader.

The host leads, with the most distinguished lady present, the way to the supper-room, the hostess being the last person to enter. A young lady can be taken into supper by some gentleman who desires to do this duty for her, and it is to him alone she should expect attention at this time. — San Francisco Call, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia