Gilded Age San Francisco Etiquette

It is etiquette to acknowledge all invitations to functions. If a lady sends out an invitation to attend a reception, it would be proper to acknowledge the same and advise the hostess whether the party invited will be present. 

Answer to Query by a Call Reader 

For E. P. T., of San Francisco: If people that you are acquainted with meet a loss by death, and you think anything of such people, it would be proper for you to write a letter of condolence. You should confine yourself to a few words of sympathy. If the life of the person just gone has been a beautiful one, some allusion to that will be proper, but do not offer anything that would seem like preaching a sermon or deducting a moral.

And... P. P. C. cards are not sent out when the party leaves the home for a short visit in the country. Such are used only when the person contemplates an absence from home for a long time, such as a tour of continental Europe or a visit to some other State, which may be of six months' duration or even longer. It is the duty of the person intending to absent himself or herself for a prolonged period, to make a call of adieu on friends, and if such are not at home then the visitor leaves a pour prendre congé card. – 1898

For J. H. of San Francisco:  It is etiquette to acknowledge all invitations to functions. If a lady sends out an invitation to attend a reception, it would be proper to acknowledge the same and advise the hostess whether the party invited will be present, so as to give an opportunity to arrange for the number who will attend. – San Francisco Call, 1901

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