“Antiquated Etiquette?” No Such Thing

Above: An 1889 Western Union Telegram

Many times when I talk about etiquette, people will tell me that too many rules are antiquated in the older books. This is an opportunity to explain to people how good manners never change, only the circumstances in which they are used change. The 1892 article below speaks of unasked for telegrams, which arrived to unwitting recipients with charges due. They cost the recipient money when the recipient never requested the telegram be sent in the first place. This breach of good manners is very reminiscent of junk mail sent and arriving with postage due, or worse yet, unsolicited faxes. In the late 1980’s, fax machines were a necessary expense for running a successful business. By the mid-1990’s, fax machines were extremely affordable and the misuse and poor manners began by just about every opportunist who had access to a fax machine. These unsolicited faxes cost the recipients in toner or ink, paper, electricity and the expense of possibly missing an important fax that you were actually expecting. “Junk” faxes became just as ubiquitous poor manners as “spam” and “junk” emails soon became.

Pay Your Telegrams

No business practice is more uncommercial than the sending of telegrams at the expense of receivers, when they are solely in the interest of the senders. Too many persons engaged in merchandising are so hopelessly ignorant of mercantile etiquette as not to know that the sending of telegrams as described is an inexcusable fault. The sending of unpaid telegrams has grown to be a nuisance of such a magnitude that radical measures are suggested for putting an end to it.

A. B. & Co. receive a telegram that reads as follows: "Send one bale cheese cloth, 2½c. per yard; date bill June 1, thirty extra 2 off ten days." Commission on that sale may reach $1.25; the cost of telegram was 63c., the interest for the extra time 25c., total 85c. – leaving the seller 37c. gross commission. Those who are so utterly regardless of commercial courtesy might be made to respect the rights of others if sellers would advise the telegraph offices to accept no unpaid telegrams for their accounts. This would quickly bring the hopelessly ignorant class to a realizing sense of the courteous obligations due from one merchant to another. – Dry Goods Economist, April 1892

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia