Q. and A. Etiquette for Audiences

   Crossing Your Ts, Dotting Your Is, and Minding Your Ps and Qs in a Q & A

  We recently attended a marvelous presentation on a very important historical event. It was informative and entertaining and exceptionally well done.. And then, the floor was opened up for a Q & A session. That's when it all fell apart. It was an excruciating half hour or so as we heard ten or more life stories and maybe one or two worthwhile questions. It occurred to me that there are many people who don't know what a question is and who don't know how to properly ask a question. The art of the question is essential in history and science, in every aspect of life in fact. In order to advance knowledge, in order to learn, in order to be human, everything starts with a question. The ability to question makes us human and sets us apart from other organisms. Putting aside philosophical versions of questioning, questioning is how we interact with each other as humans.  The huge secret that Dale Carnegie revealed in his How to Win Friends and Influence People books, lectures, and programs that still impact countless people today is that one initiates and builds relationships by asking questions of the other person in order to get to know them better and make them feel at ease.

    So questioning is important. We've all been in meetings and situations where questions are asked that make us shake our heads or tune out. Educators, parents, and others should spend time and energy helping their young people learn how to develop and ask meaningful and specific questions so that they can learn and, maybe more importantly, learn how to learn. 

    Here are a few tips for the next time you find yourself in a Q & A session:

    1. Nobody cares about your life story. There is a reason you're in the audience and not on stage.

    2. If you have a question, step up to the microphone and take your place in line. Don't make people wait for you to cross the room.

    3. There should be no more than one or two periods and one or two question marks in your entire speech. Follow ups should be made a part of your original speech.

    4. Ask and move back to your seat. Never ever stand there with three or four questions.

    5. Avoid phrases like "I think." See rule #1.

    6. Don't promote yourself during your time. 

    7. Ask yourself: Will the answer enlighten anyone else in the audience?

    8. DO NOT, under any circumstance, raise your hand after a question is asked and say to the presenter, "May I answer that?" Especially when you are an old geezer who actually does nothing to answer the question because you probably misunderstood it in the first place.

   Every day I find myself developing a greater appreciation for listening and questioning, two crucial life skills that seem to be harder and harder to find, as our world, unfortunately,  seems to be growing more and more contentious, fractured, and dysfunctional.  We should be doing our best to develop and model these skills as much as we can.

Etiquipedia would like to thank Jeff, of The Histocrats Blogspot, for graciously allowing us to reprint this helpful etiquette article which is on the Histocrats’ site ⏳

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia