Small Points of 1850’s Dining Etiquette

From the upcoming book, “Yesteryear… More of What Have We Here?” — Gilded Sterling and Sterling Egg Spoons in Gorham’s Ivy Pattern, Durgin’s Lily of the Valley, and Two Olive Pattern Spoons by an unknown maker. Egg “Toppers” in Silver and Silver Plate, a Herend Porcelain Egg Cup, among other egg servers and an egg cruet set.

If a lady requests you to pare an apple or peach for her, take her fork to hold it, or some other than your own. This is a service that may be asked, but not often volunteered.

Servants now wear white gloves in waiting on table; but a clean napkin is as well to hand plates with. For a lady or gentleman to wear gloves at table is a small affectation, that may as well be dispensed with.

Preserve your calmness and presence of mind under all circumstances. If you are so heedless as to scald your mouth; if a careless waiter pours a plate of soup in your lap; if china crash, or your satin is ruined, still smile serenely, and even jest, if you really have as good command of yourself as you must seem to have. The gentleman who remarked, when his servant dropped a boiled tongue on the dining room floor, “Tis a mere lapsus lingua, gentlemen,” set a good example.

At our fashionable hotels, where so many people now live, move, and have their being," it is customary to have breakfast ready from eight o'clock to twelve, and to order from the carte. You take a seat at the table, give your order to the waiter, and read the morning paper while it is in preparation.

The small points of table etiquette, like many others, may easily be learned by a little observation. A well-bred person, attentive to the prevailing customs, never turns his tea or coffee into his saucer to cool. The cup was made expressly to drink from, and the saucer to hold the cup. He does not stir or blow his food or drink to facilitate its cooling. He drinks it hot, or waits. He eats his eggs from the shell, with or without an egg cup, which is to hold the shell, and not its contents. — From “The Illustrated Manual of Good Behavior and Polite Accomplishments,” 1955

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