Table Manners of 1880

Corn on the cob, even today, is not a normal item at a formal meal— it is too messy. Yet, some Victorian hostesses did serve corn on the cob. There were several ways of handling corn on the cob. One was to use the silver cob holders shown. These worked exactly like the plastic cob holders the fastidious use on picnics to day. At least one 1880s etiquette book favored serving corn on the cob, noting, “A lady who gives many elegant dinners at Newport causes to be laid beside the plate of each guest two little silver-gilt spike-like arrangements. Each person then places these in either end of the corn-cob and eats his corn holding it by two silver handles.” Some etiquette writers advised people to use a knife to cut the kernels off the cob and then eat the loose kernels with a fork. The corn fork (bottom middle of photo) reflects another approach. The center portion of this large fork was designed to be used in scraping the corn kernels from the cob. The fork could then be used to eat the loose kernels. As a design, it was a success, the scraper worked quite well. How ever, it was a product for which there was no real market. Few diners wanted to go to that much trouble for corn so the fork sold very poorly and today is almost impossible to find.— From “Forgotten Elegance,” 2003

One of the surest tests of refinement is the test of eating. There may possibly be persona of taste and delicacy who are careless of the table and careless at the table, but they are black swans, exceptions which prove the rule. This test is as applicable to brutes as to men. There is as much difference in tke refinement of individuals of the canine and bovine and feline species as in those of the human species; and this difference is seen most plainly in their personal habits, and particularly in their habits of eating. Even in that omnivorous animal, the pig, we find this statement verified. 

An aristocratic pig is dainty at the trough, and refuses food if not up to grade or served in a slovenly style. There is no pain of the social sort more exquisite than the pain endured by a sensitive and refined nature when by stress of circumstances it is compelled to feed on husks and with swine. This was the crowning agony that brought the prodigal son to himself and influenced him to return to his father’s house, where the servants had good food and to spare. 

To some, good table manners come by nature; to others only by training. Those who are born with a delicate sense of taste and smell, with fine organizations and limited powers of digestion, are naturally particular about their eating, and prefer starvation to indulgence in anything “common or unclean.” Others in whom all the senses are dull and whose bodies are coarsely made, are easily pleased, and have no difficulty in eating whatever is set before them, asking no questions for conscience’s or any other sake. This latter class, unfortunately quite too numerous for the comfort of the former, though not perhaps too many for the rough fare and work of the world, are proper subjects for culture in table manners. 

It was doubtless in the interest of this class our correspondent wrote, at whose earnest request a few hints are here printed. Any one who will from principle and by habit keep the Ten Commandments will have no doubts as to their worth to the world, and their divine origin. “If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine.” The formation of a habit creates a sentiment. It may take a long time to form it, but the habit once formed, a settlement will grow up and twine round it as the ivy graces the oak. This is why mothers who seek to develop good table manners in their children, will first provide good table appointments, and carefully prepared and daintily served food, and will thus insist upon good behavior. 

These three things insisted on, will in time, create a sentiment in the minds of children that will make correct table manners a second nature.

• 1. As to table appointments.– The cloth, should be scrupulously clean, though it be only coarse material; nicely starched and ironed, and put on straight, its folds parallel with the sides of the table, and they with the sides of the room. The napkins, of however coarse material, must also be clean, carefully ironed and put on in place. The arrangement of the dishes on the table must be uniform, regular and tasteful, each dish, plate, spoon, glass, being in its appointed place and kept there. Any one accustomed to orderly appointments by habit soon learns to feel the necessity of taste and exactitude. These are fearfully neglected in many families. Table furniture of all sorts is hustled on without regard to appearance or order, the napery is disgusting, the carelessness in disposing it equally so, and the results are only such as might be expected. 
• 2. As to the food.– It is impossible to feel polite and well-mannered over unpalatable, coarse, ill-prepared, indigestible food. Every mouthful of it provokes ill-humor, resentment, dissatisfaction. The house mother who insists on good table manners must give her family good food. There is no need of sour bread, muddy coffee, soggy potatoes, heavy pie-crust, leathery batter cakes. Chesterfield himself would forget his manners if compelled for any length of time to subsist on such a diet. 
• 3. As to methods of eating.– With the assistance of the knife and fork the food may be so divided as to relieve the incisors of the heaviest part of their work, and make small mouthfuls a pleasure. The grinders indicate that grinding in the mouth is a part of the process of nutrition. Animals destitute of grinders bolt their food. It is not fitting that human beings cat as dogs do, since they have each a “mill” ready for use—which dogs have not. The lips are so constructed that the noise of the grinding, which is intolerable to ears polite, may be effectually disguised. This is a point that cannot be too urgently insisted on. 

Food, whether liquid or solid, must be conveyed into the mouth and from the month downward silently. The position at table should be unconstrained and easy, the person sitting erect or slightly bent forward when eating, so that the mouth may be directly above the plate; the arms should be held at the side, not extended at right angles with the body. The elbows should be kept off the table. Leave-taking is admissible only by permission of the hostess. 

Table talk should be light, agreeable, general, each person present contributing his or her quota to the general fund, and children observing the excellent rule of being “seen and not heard,” unless they are in such majority that the conversation is keyed to their level. Parents who will be at the pains to set their children such examples as they wish to see followed, and will themselves conform ta a high standard of table etiquette, will have little difficulty in attaining the results of culture they all desire. — N. Y. Tribune, 1880

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