Place Card and Menu Card Etiquette

A gentleman feels free to pick up the menu card and examine it, but he always puts it back on the table where he found it, so that it serves its others at the table.

When a gentleman arrives at a dinner party. he may discover that place cards have been set out on the table. He understands that his host or hostess will have given some thought to the arrangement of the guests. He also understands that his host or hostess will have consciously decided not to seat him next to his spouse or his date for the evening, as it is assumed that there will be other times when the gentleman can enjoy that person's company.

A gentleman feels free to check out the seating arrangement, even before the entire party is called to the table. If he discovers that he has been seated next to a person whose company he does not enjoy (perhaps even a guest with whom he has had a recent argument), he may ask his host or hostess if his place card may be moved. (He does not take it upon himself to rearrange the carefully planned table.) The host or hostess may agree to make the switch, or it may turn out that the change of place may require a reseating of the entire table– a complexity the host or hostess has no time to deal with at the last minute. If that turns out to be the case, a gentleman simply bucks up and makes the best of the evening, knowing that the dinner will be over within an hour or two.

Once he is seated at his table, a gentleman may find a menu card, outlining the courses for the dinner or luncheon, in front of his plate or between him and his closest dining companion. A gentleman feels free to pick up the menu card and examine it, but he always puts it back on the table where he found it, so that it serves its others at the table. — From “A Gentleman at the Table,” John Bridges and Bryan Curtis, 2004 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia