Etiquette and the “Napkin Burrito”

 

Gloves, once removed, had to join evening bag, fan, and large damask napkin, all precariously balanced on a slippery, possibly satin-sheathed lap. Emily Post suggested rather daringly (‘this ought not to be put in a book of etiquette, which should say you must do nothing of the kind’) that one might cover all these objects with the napkin placed cornerwise across the knees ‘and tuck the two side corners under like a lap robe, with the gloves and the fan tied in place, as it were.’” Basically, what she described results in a “burrito” of sorts.

“Creating what I call the ‘napkin burrito’...

“Gilded Age fashion for women dictated every little detail. And when it came to dressing for formal, Gilded Age dinners, bare shoulders for women with covered arms, was the reigning style. Very long, elbow-length, buttoned gloves were the fashionable evening choice, even though the gloves would have to be removed prior to eating one morsel of food. 

These long, multi-buttoned, gloves proved quite difficult to remove gracefully for many women. So difficult, that manufacturers designed gloves that could be rolled back upon the top of the hands in a ‘tacky’ effect, leaving the fingers sticking out from below. It gave a gluttonous appearance of someone in such a hurry to dine, that she just couldn’t be bothered to do what other female members of the dinner party had done — unbuttoned the gloves and removed them completely.

According to Margaret Visser in her book with The Rituals of Dinner, ‘The etiquette manuals were never very sure whether they approved of this labour saving device; Emily Post pronounced it ‘hideous.’ Gloves, once removed, had to join evening bag, fan, and large damask napkin, all precariously balanced on a slippery, possibly satin-sheathed lap. Emily Post suggested rather daringly (‘this ought not to be put in a book of etiquette, which should say you must do nothing of the kind’) that one might cover all these objects with the napkin placed cornerwise across the knees ‘and tuck the two side corners under like a lap robe, with the gloves and the fan tied in place, as it were.’ She went further, since one could no longer count on receiving a very large napkin, and promoted the carrying of paper clips, by gentlemen as well as ladies, to hold the napkin in place. All this assumes that a civilized diner would never require any dabbing at the lips with a napkin during dinner.’

“Basically, what she described results in a ‘burrito’ of sorts. – From Maura J. Graber’s book, “What Have We Here? The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...”, 2021

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia