Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Tea Etiquette in Bachelor Apartments

You will need a covered sugar bowl filled with block sugar, a pretty, shallow dish for sliced lemon, with a lemon server on it... (these) may find a permanent place on this table.


Afternoon Tea and Unexpected Callers

The following suggestions are offered for those who have no maid or who live in bachelor apartments, and wish to extend their gracious courtesy in an informal way to unexpected callers. Some of the needful things are, first, a kettle, usually of brass, with a lamp for burning alcohol, so that the water may be boiled freshly and the tea made at once, without absenting yourself from your guests for any part of their call, except to bring in the plate of wafers, or the fresh water and any other articles not practicable to keep on the table. 

Of course, if you have a gas stove in a room near by, and all your needful things close at hand, you may do all the necessary work outside, in a brief time. But unless you can do it quickly, do not attempt it, for anything which savors of time and trouble for the hostess detracts from the guest’s enjoyment, and the pleasure of the guest is greatly enhanced by watching the process in the hands of a graceful hostess. If you have no table convenient to keep in readiness in your room, or you do not approve of the custom, you may easily have a table, light in weight and easy to lift, or one with a handle made expressly for this purpose, which may be fitted with the tea service and kept in some convenient place ready to be brought in at short notice. 

A covered sugar bowl filled with block sugar, a pretty, shallow dish for sliced lemon, with a lemon server on it, a plate or small metal tray under the lamp, a fancy bottle holding half a cup or more of alcohol, a small caddy for the tea, a tea ball with an extra cup to hold it when not in use, small sugar tongs, as many cups and saucers of your prettiest patterns as you will need, and spoons in the same proportion, may all find a permanent place on this table. If you prefer to have the tea steeped longer than is practicable with a ball, you may provide a teapot, since in this case, if there are many to be served, it will be convenient to put the tea in small bags made of thin muslin, which may be removed when fresh tea is to be made, with less trouble than when the tea is put directly in the pot, or when the tea ball is used and has to be emptied frequently. 

Milk and cream are not often served with afternoon tea, but as many persons do not enjoy the tea without one or the other, it will seem more hospitable to provide them. Do not omit the small bowl which will be so handy for the tea bags, or any portion which may be left, if a second cup is desired. Small hemstitched napkins of the finest linen, or, if your means will not permit this, the dainty paper napkins, will give your guest a measure of enjoyment far in excess of your labor in providing them. — Mary J. Lincoln, Copyright, 1901



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

American Tea Etiquette in 1980

In the 1880’s, the Meriden Britannia Company of Connecticut came out with a “self-pouring pots” for American tea and coffee drinkers. They were designed to “turn drudgery into pleasure,” “relieve aching arms” and avoid “soiled clothes.” Is it just me? I had always thought 19th century women were made of stronger stock than these silly two illustrated young women, who found pouring tea to be such the “drudgery.” 


Tea drinking was a fast growing American passion in 1980

Americans are not the greatest tea drinkers in the world. The British Isles, where six pounds of tea a person are consumed each year, has that distinction. But tea drinking is a fast growing passion in the United States, according to Sam Twining, export director for R. Twining & Co. Ltd of England. As ambassador-at-large for England's oldest tea company (1706 is the founding date) and the ninth generation of his family to join the business, Twining has acquired a large store of knowledge about his favorite beverage. And the thing he would most like to tell Americans, he said in a recent interview over a cup of tea, is that to make a proper cup of tea it is very important to have a proper tea pot. 

An examination of the pots on sale in American outlets has convinced him that Americans are as likely as not to end up with a perfectly dreadful pot, regardless of the cost, unless they learn a few things beforehand. A proper tea pot is one which pours without dripping. Its handle is designed so that the fingers go round it without touching the pot which is certain to be hot. The handle should be made separately and put on afterward so that it stays cool to the touch. 

The lid should have a little lug so it doesn't fall off when you pour the tea. Or, the lid may be hinged onto the pot itself to accomplish the same purpose. So that air can get in when tea is poured, there should be a tiny pinhole in the spout. If it isn’t there, a full teapot will create a kind of vacuum so that it is difficult to pour. A built-in strainer at the base of the spout is necessary to catch the tea leaves before they reach your cup. 

A tea pot may be made of earthenware, silver, stainless steel, glass or porcelain. All are excellent materials and impart no aftertaste to the liquid. Aluminum and enamelled cast iron, which chips easily, are not good teapot material. Aluminum turns tea blue and contact with iron turns it bitter and black, says Twining. Most English families have at least two tea pots, a small one with enough for two or three cups and a large pot, holding enough for at least six. “The brown earthenware pot, which we English call a ‘brown betty,’ makes a great cup of tea. It’s excellent for morning tea. But if I were giving an afternoon tea party, I think I’d prefer to pour from a delicate porcelain pot or a silver one that is more graceful,” said Twining. 

Regardless of the type of pot used, make sure it is clean. “The idea that a layer of built-up tannin in the pot contributes to the taste of the tea is disastrous,” he added. “The best tea is made in a pristine tea pot.” For Twining that does not mean that a pot has to be scrubbed to a fare-thee-well with soap or detergent. He advocates a brief rinse in clean water after each use and a regular, four-hour soaking with water and about a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda once a month. 

The English regulate the strength of their tea by the addition of more, or less, hot water. A tea pot and a companion jug of boiled water appear together on the tea tray. Unlike coffee, which tends to get more bitter through the day as it sits, tea stops brewing when the water turns cool. In most pots, this means after about seven minutes. Since the tea is not going to get bitter, unless it is reheated with the leaves, an individual does not have to remove the tea leaves from the pot before serving.

As a nation of coffee drinkers, Americans may not know that coffee cups and tea cups have classically different shapes. The tea cup is narrow at the bottom and wider at the top to emit the bouquet of the tea and to permit rapid cooling, A coffee cup is taller and narrower, said Twining. 


As for accessories for the tea-drinking ritual, Twining is for some, against others. He is against tea cosies, those fabric covers designed to keep the tea pot hot. Why? Tea is supposed to stop brewing when the water cools down. By keeping the water hotter longer, the cosy leads to stewed tea, he said. He does like a new filter pot that accommodates a filter paper and in effect allows the tea brewer to make his own giant tea bag. A lemon squeezer that works like a garlic press is another item of which he approves. 

English tea the meal taken about 5 p.m. each day varies from season to season. In summer, a thin tea such as Lapsong Souchong might be served with cucumber sandwiches or lettuce sandwiches and a light sponge cake. In winter, a strong tea such as Earl Grey would accompany toasted crumpets, hot toast, jam and honey, tea sandwiches, fruit cake and scones. 

Special among famous English teas are cream or Devonshire cream teas and strawberry teas. A cream tea consists of scones, butter, Devonshire or clotted cream, and strawberry jam plus tea. A strawberry tea includes fresh strawberries and Devonshire cream plus tea. Strawberry and cream teas are often taken in small country inns and tea shops, added Twining. — By Barbara Mayer AP Newsfeatures 




Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Tea Cup Handles

The handle of the teacup came from Mediterranean lands. Originally it a was made of thick and strong earthenware and applied to heavy jars and lamps. Its decorative possibilities popularized it with Greek and Roman potters, who extended its use to small amphorae and flagons; but as the word “amphora” indicates, the handle was double. Single handles crept into use by slow degrees and were probably applied to drinking cups about the time that coffee came into vogue in Southern Europe — Shown above, a variety of antique cups and saucers designed for hot chocolate, but appropriate for tea or coffee, as well.



The First Tea Cups... They Had No Handles, and Saucers Were Used as Covers

In the middle of the seventeenth century, tea was introduced into England, and with it came the Chinese or “china” tea cup. Strangely enough, the men who imported it from the orient did not themselves understand the method of  its
use. The Chinese put a pinch of tea into a large cup without a handle, filled it with boiling water and then inverted a saucer over the receptacle, within whose rim it closely fitted. The object was partly to retain the heat, but chiefly to prevent the escape of the fragrance of the herb, which the Chinese found most delicious. The infusion was permitted to stand for five minutes, when 
it was decanted into a second cup without a saucer and daintily sipped. 

John Bull, however, emphatically declined to take his tea in Chinese fashion. He liked the appearance of the ornamental ware upon his table, but be insisted on placing the cup in the saucer, like a miniature flowerpot, and used it exclusively to drink from, preparing the beverage in a common, instead of an individual, receptacle. In course of time, England began the manufacture of cups and saucers, and pictures which have been preserved from the days of the Stuarts show big, flaring cups, four inches across the top, with saucers less than three inches in diameter. By degrees one dwindled and the other expanded, until in the middle of the nineteenth century the opposite extreme was reached, and fashionable tea services had cups only an inch and a half in diameter accompanied by five inch saucers. 

The handle of the teacup came from Mediterranean lands. Originally it a was made of thick and strong earthenware and applied to heavy jars and lamps. Its decorative possibilities popularized it with Greek and Roman potters, who extended its use to small amphorae and flagons; but as the word “amphora” indicates, the handle was double. Single handles crept into use by slow degrees and were probably applied to drinking cups about the time that coffee came into vogue in southern Europe, the beverage being taken almost at the boiling point, so that some device for lifting the cup without burning the fingers was found desirable. Traveling slowly northward, the one-handled coffee cup finally reached Great Britain, where its merits were immediately recognized. It was not long before handles were applied to drinking vessels of every description. London Tatler, 1914




Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chinese Tea Etiquette

A traditional Chinese covered tea cup in dish, with naturalistic scene 
Photo source, Pinterest 


How the Chinese Man Drinks Tea


The Chinese man, in preparing tea, places a pinch of leaves in a Chinese teacup, which is without a handle, pours boiling water over them and places the cover on the cup. In a few seconds the tea is ready for drinking; the covered cup is raised to the mouth, and, with the fingers of the hand holding the cup, the lid is moved just sufficiently to permit the liquid to flow into the mouth as the cup is tilted. — By United States, Bureau of Foreign and Domestic Commerce, 1919


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and a Dish of Tea

         
 



A Dish of Tea




“Dish” throughout the eighteenth century was a colloquialism for cup. In fashionable houses at first, and for long, tea was drunk from a cup without a handle brought from China. The vessel was termed a “dish.” When the Chinese cup was first copied by English potters, the convenience of a handle was added. 
The deep saucer from a beautiful Samuel Alcock “True Trio” — A true trio is two different shaped, porcelain cups (one for coffee and one for tea) and one matching saucer, circa 1840s. True trios were sold in this manner, as a consumer would conceivably need only need one saucer, as the coffee and tea would not be drunk simultaneously.



The saucer also was brought from China. It received the name because of its resemblance to the English saucer, a platter in which sauce was served. The familiar gibe, “saucer eyes,” was originally inspired by the sauce saucer, long before Lord Arlington gave the first “tea party” in England in Arlington House, where Buckingham Palace stands, at the Restoration period. — London Chronicle, 1913



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Of Gilded Age Gourmands

“Crystallized rose petals served at the fashionable luncheons are declared to be injurious by some one who cannot afford them, or ate too many.” — Crystalized rose petals and crystalized mint leaves were easy to make and popular to serve, making a Gilded Age dinner, luncheon or tea, that much more special. — Crystallized rose petals, Pinterest 


Gastronomical Tid Bits of  March 1888

Roast chicken stuffed with boiled rice is traced to a caterer working for fame. 

Those are unwelcome rumors in the air of a possible advance in the price of beef. 

What is the object of the literature that tells what and how men of the day usually eat?

In nine cases out of ten, the professed fondness for “gamey game” is unreal and an affectation. 

Fashionable lovers of German opera turn up their noses at the idea of German gastronomy. 

Many European delicacies heretofore unknown in this country are now extensively imported. 

The pleasure of eating forced “delicacies of the season” is largely regulated by the cost of the delicacies. 

A current joke says the Fourth of July is like an oyster stew, because neither is good without crackers. 

People from the rural districts at restaurants are known by the cup of tea they drink with their dinner. 

It is sad to contemplate the fact that six weeks hence, buckwheat cakes will be out of gastronomic fashion. 

“Do you like noodles?” he was asked. “Really,” he said, “I don’t know. I never met him, you know.” 

It was a prudent housekeeper, who, hearing fish and eggs were to be high in Lent, bought a keg of salt mackerel and a hen. 

Crystallized rose petals served at the fashionable luncheons are declared to be injurious by some one who cannot afford them, or ate too many. 

Home people contend that first impressions are the best, but the first cakes from the griddle are, nine times out of ten, the worst. Why and wherefore, oh, ye scientist! 

Improperly baked, heavy waffles will always enable the lightest sleeper to dream of the crowned heads of Europe, and have them presented, one by one, on the heaving chest. 

They tell of a congressman’s wife at a Washington dinner party who undertook to eat the paper dish in which the patti was served. These are the kind of women who always rub spoons and forks with the napkin. — Humboldt Times, 1888




Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Etiquette and “Affected Speech”

“Fathah awnd grawnfathah were bawn heah.’’ ‘But you haven't lived here much?’ I ventured. “Oh, yes, only a couple of yeahs that I was east at school.” “So there it was; two years east at school had done the mischief. She met a lot of New Yorkers and southerners and no doubt some English people there, and so she tried to fix up a little more elegant accent for herself, with the distressing result.

Affectations of Accent Absurdity
Michigan Professor Makes Observations During Afternoon Tea of Girl Students • 
Type of Talk is a “Poser”• Says Young Women Try to Combine Pronunciations of Their Acquaintances

ANN ARBOR, June 25.—It was no less an authority than a professor in Michigan university who declared not long ago that he was “Sick of affectation in pronunciation.” One of the best loved men in the great school, he has seen thousands upon thousands of men and women go out from his classes in the course of his long academic career, says the Detroit Free Press, “In my early day, when I was a young instructor, affected speech from among young ladies was rare, he told some of his students, then came a wave of it that swept all over and reminded me of those silly foppish French days of the Ridiculous Précieuses (or The Affected Ladies) satire immortalized by Molière, when the bourgeois element began to put on airs that set the whole world a-laughing.” 

“Now, a good pronunciation is to be cultivated, just as pretty modulations of the voice are much to be desired both in men and women, but when it comes to these obviously strained-after apings of somebody else’s English, I think it is time to show people how utterly ludicrous they appear. The fact is, in some forceful slang that appeals to me very much for its terse power of descriptions, these people don’t get away with their airs—not one bit. Not long ago my aversion for this sort of thing got the better of my discretion and of my good manners, I fear, at a charity afternoon tea.”

“Well, there were a lot of Detroit girls among them, and as I stood off for a while listening to them, I marveled where they had acquired their accents. Certainly they didn’t sound like Michigan, nor like anything within many miles of the middle west. To tell you the truth, I couldn't make out what they did sound like and I've done a bit of traveling in this and other countries in my day. But this type of talk was a poser for me. There were a number of broad A’s— some of them quite the broadest I had ever heard.” 

“There were few R’s, except for now and then when someone less alert than her sisters let drop a good, healthy one. At last, one of the prettiest of them, a slender, sweet eyed young thing, that might have been a Rosaetti model, fell to my lot, I never heard such talk. She was mighty nice to me, too, getting the choicest little cakes for me and some very fragrant tea in a pretty cup, and fixed to suit a King. But her accent! ‘You're a Michigan girl?’ I asked. “Oh, yes, indeed,” she beamed, ‘‘Fathah awnd grawnfathah were bawn heah.’’ ‘But you haven't lived here much?’ I ventured. “Oh, yes, only a couple of yeahs that I was east at school.” 

“So there it was; two years east at school had done the mischief. She met a lot of New Yorkers and southerners and no doubt some English people there, and so she tried to fix up a little more elegant accent for herself, with the distressing result. There is no such pronunciation in all the English language as ‘awnd’ for ‘and,’ nor ‘hawnd’ for ‘hand.’ If a child is sent away in its earliest youth it can naturally acquire the accent of its new environment, but when it comes to a grown Michigan girl in a couple of years getting an entirely new version of mother English, it does seem a little miraculous —don't you think?“– Los Angeles Herald, 1910



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Tea Etiquette and Affectations

“Let me suggest, if you have not already done so, putting your little ‘dolls’ cups away in the cabinet and have some of the usual size, as handsome as purse affords. The little cups have gone by as too much of an affectation.”
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
 
af·fec·ta·tion/ˌafekˈtāSH(ə)n/  noun/ Behavior, speech, or writing that is artificial and designed to impress; Pretension.
Many affectations surround afternoon tea – most notably the 20th century affectation of lifting of one’s pinkie, or pinky finger, when drinking.


Of Fashionable Oriental Pots and Cups — If $15 is too much to pay, then 15 cents will buy a blue and white Japanese teapot holding two cups, and the tea will be just as good, for, like the costly one, it will have a little earthen strainer inside for the tea leaves. The tea bell is a fussy, inconvenient affair, and rather than use it, have some of the Chinese cups with perforated strainers.  
Place the strainer over the cup, put in the tea, and pour on the required amount of boiling water. Set the saucer over the whole and let the tea steep until strong enough to suit. Lift out the strainer by its broad edge, leaving the tea in the cup, clear and free from leaves. But let me suggest, if you have not already done so, putting your little “dolls’’cups away in the cabinet and have some of the usual size, as handsome as purse affords. The little cups have gone by as too much of an affectation. — Los Angeles Herald, 1906


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Travel Gratuity Etiquette

On first class ocean steamers the gratuities are much analogous to those in a gentleman’s house. The steward who waits on you at the table and the one who attends your stateroom, will each expect a fee in gold —ten shillings ($2.50), at least —from a single passenger; a pound, if you have baths brought into your room every morning, or are particular about having your wines warmed or iced; or, in short, use the servants up to their full capacity. When the passage is $60 to $75 or less, these fees are less —about one-half of the figures above. The “boots” also looks to be remembered about one-half the amount given the steward.


A petty, but endless trouble of the traveler in Europe for the first time, is the matter of gratuities. You give a trifle all the time to everyone who does you the least service. Even for an apparently friendly word of information on the street, you are expected to pay in this way. In England it is “a tip,” in France, the “pour boire;” in Italy, “buono mann,” the good hand; in Germany it is “trinkgeld,” drink money. It is not much money in any one instance, but foots up pretty well after an active day’s work. The practical trouble, however, is to know what to give. The inhabitants and the servants themselves know exactly what they are entitled to, for it is a matter of right, just us much as any other charge, although the amount is never fixed or published in any written form for the information of strangers. They must learn it by experience. We, as a rule, to whom the European measures are new, give too much. Englishmen of rank and wealth complain that Americans raise the costs of travel wherever they go. 


For the gratuity of cab drivers, waiters at restaurants, etc., the recognised European usage is in England one penny for every shilling spent in fare or at the table, and in France and Italy two sous for every franc spent. This rule disposes of a large portion of the cases. For porters, two pence in England and two sous on the Continent, for every piece of luggage handle, even if it is only to carry it out to a pavement. An umbrella or a shawl is a piece, as well as a trunk. The driver of an omnibus, cab or fiacre, as a point of etiquette and professional consideration for the porters, will refuse to touch a piece of luggage himself, even to lift it from three feet away into his vehicle. 

Visiting at private houses of the upper classes in England the servants expect their tips in gold coin if your stay is over a day or two. The smallest English gold coin is a ten shilling piece — £2.50. You see the footman who attends your bedroom; the maid, if you have ladies, who serves their chambers, the butler, who has charge of the dining-room and force of waiters, the keepers if you hunt, the groom you use, if you ride, or the head of the stables if there are several, and generally any servant that you specially use. You will soon learn how to grade these fees according to the rank of the servant, and the length of your visit. 

On first class ocean steamers the gratuities are much analogous to those in a gentleman’s house. The steward who waits on you at the table and the one who attends your stateroom, will each expect a fee in gold —ten shillings ($2.50), at least —from a single passenger; a pound, if you have baths brought into your room every morning, or are particular about having your wines warmed or iced; or, in short, use the servants up to their full capacity. When the passage is $60 to $75 or less, these fees are less —about one-half of the figures above. The “boots” also looks to be remembered about one-half the amount given the steward.

The expense of this gratuity business in ordinary travel is in general rather exaggerated. The sums given are very small and you get a great deal for them — a willing, perfect, kindly service which you do not get in our country at all. To the traveler the custom is an annoyance rather than a burden. The usage degrades and demoralizes and un-mans him who takes the vail, or gift, or tip, or bounty, or what ever you please to call it; yet a very great portion of the people of Great Britain and Europe do receive their wages in this way, look for it, and feel no humiliation in the transaction. You can hardly insult anybody across the water by offering them anything, no matter what appears to be his, or their, official position. 

I have given a shilling in London to a uniformed policeman, and a franc in Paris to magnificent-looking hotel managers. A Philadelphia acquaintance in London had several hundred dollars brought to him from his banking-house, one of the largest there, by a clerk of the establishment, and the nattily dressed young gentleman asked for a shilling for his services. Imagine the consequences of offering ten cents to a conductor of the Pennsylvania Railway who had shown you to your seat in the car and given you information when to get out; yet this is done all over England every day, and the uniformed and respectable-looking guard hangs around stickily until he gets his sixpence. —Philadelphia Press, 1880




Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Servants’ Balls

English aristocracy glories in this annual abjuration of pride and prejudice and on the truly republican instincts which permits, nay commands, a Duchess to dance with her cook or coachman, and encourages her daughters to waltz with a footman. Lady Salisbury, after performing a similar act, observed to a foreigner; “If you want to see true democracy, here it is.” This sentiment is not sincere, and does not deceive either the one who emits it or the recipients of these honors.
— Photo source, Pinterest

Lord Salisbury’s Annual Ball
Aristocracy Dancing with the Servants— Annual Abjuration of Pride

When the long table is surrounded by women glittering with the diamonds so profusely worn, when the magnificent gold and silver plate lends its massive splendor to the wealth of crystal, flowers and fruit, the lofty apartments in the white chaste light involuntarily recalls the gorgeous scenes painted by Veronese. The liveries worn by the twenty tall footmen of the noble are at once simple and tasteful—black coat, blue breeches and white waistcoat, and silken hose gartered with silver. The servants’ ball takes place in the winter dining-room, decorated with some flowers and greenery and provided with a small orchestra. Refreshments are adjoining apartment and a stand-up supper in the marble hall. 

English aristocracy glories in this annual abjuration of pride and prejudice and on the truly republican instincts which permits, nay commands, a Duchess to dance with her cook or coachman, and encourages her daughters to waltz with a footman. Lady Salisbury, after performing a similar act, observed to a foreigner; “If you want to see true democracy, here it is.” This sentiment is not sincere, and does not deceive either the one who emits it or the recipients of these honors. The upper and under servants preserve a stifled and embarrassed, almost an antagonistic, attitude as long as their superiors are present, and eye the quality with ill-concealed distrust. They flatten themselves stiffly against the wall while Lady Salisbury passes with her guests, and addresses a word to each before the dancing commences. 

There is more of feudal pomp than hearty equality in the custom. The French chef, to whom the visitor was rather ostentatiously introduced by the son of the house, admitted that he had been several years in the establishment, and liked England well enough. Then he suddenly and almost angrily exclaimed: “But I did my duty in 1870. I served in the Carabineers, and am not one of them.” He was evidently not won over by the mock favor, and rather resented it than otherwise, as an added display of superiority and a showing off of the number of retainers and generosity of employers. The upper servants themselves stand on their dignity, and rarely condescend to dance with the underlings, this being considered an infringement of domestic etiquette. 

The real enjoyment only begins after midnight, when the hostess retires with her friends. With the exception of the ladies’ maids, the women are absurdly and grotesquely attired—cotton velvet, red gloves, short muslins being common features. Each servant is authorized to issue two invitations. No control is placed on the duration of the revels, the housekeeper and head butler assuming the functions of Master of the Ceremonies: but the next morning all must return to their respective duties, and no trace remains of the festivities of the night, while the whole palatial establishment of Hatfield resumes the even, aristocratic tenor of its way. —London Correspondent, New York Sun, 1886



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More English Servant Etiquette

The English servants are good-looking, neat and constitutional flunkeys and flunkeyesses. They are very shrewd, and have their class rules as well defined as any trade union. Downing Street does not possess more pigeon-holes and red tape than a mansion of the wealthy. An upper house-maid would die at the stake before she would do a bit of work that came within the province of the under house-maid.

Swell Servants in London

Says a London correspondent of the Cincinnati Commercial: “Although all hopes of recovering the jewels ot Lady Dudley has vanished—their real value was £30,000 there is still a good deal of speculation about their disappearance, and a pretty general belief that some of his lordship's servants must have been at least an accomplice in the transaction. It is difficult to believe that a box of such value intrusted to the care of servants could have disappeared in a railway station from unwilling bauds, or that an outside thief could have known so much about the movements of the family, as to have been on the spot at the precise moment. However this may be, there is no doubt that the English nobility, have a way of employing servants which offers grand opportunities to rogues, in most cases the outside of the servants is the chief thing. 


If the coachman or footman is looking in his livery and of the required dimensions, his character is not inquired into. A well known Duke recently advertised for a footman of exactly five feet eleven and a half inches, whose sole business it would be to stand at tbe back of his coach beside another of like station. A youth, now in the employ of a lady of my acquaintance, applied for the advertised position, and says that his character was not asked for— he was taken into the servants’ hall and measured, and dismissed for lacking the half inch demanded by the Duke. There is a passion tor tallness in servants, and of one noble family, at least, it is a rule to admit no man servant under six feet. There are six of these eminent personages in their fine mansions. The English servants are good-looking, neat and constitutional flunkeys and flunkeyesses. They are very shrewd, and have their class rules as well defined as any trade union. Downing Street does not possess more pigeon-holes and red tape than a mansion of the wealthy. An upper house-maid would die at the stake before she would do a bit of work that came within the province of the under house-maid.

A swell butler would throw up his position in the face of the Lord Chancellor himself if he were expected to black his own boots. There are many boys of thirteen kept in brass buttons, and in many an instance the sole duty of this boy is to brush the clothes and boots of tbe butler, the master of the house having his own separate valet. Of course, it is not pride which has made the inflexible laws of etiquette among these servants, which they refuse to step out of; an official groove or function. It is the determination of their class to preserve the conventional number the servants required for any first class household. They particularly dislike servants from other countries, especially the Germans, because; if well paid and well treated they will do anything requested of them. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1875





Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Below Stairs’ Etiquette

Many don’t realize that the pecking order and social hierarchy in the servants’ hall was just as rigid as that of that of the Lords and Ladies of the manor. There was a natural expectation that one’s manners would be commensurate with one’s position in service.

The Case of Muggins, Who Wished She Were Dead

The terrors of etiquette below stairs! There once strayed into employ a housemaid whose career hitherto had been confined to lodging houses. Upstairs she always looked frightened, and her face had a great attraction for “smuts,” but she was very willing and very competent. “It is not for me to ask madam to send Muggins away, but the rest of us will go if Muggins stays. I don't know where she has lived out before, but she drinks out of her saucer and does not even know that we expect her to be down in our sitting room at half past 4:00, dressed in her black and ready to pour out the servants tea.” 

Of course I gave Muggins notice, recognizing that the lodging house was her proper sphere, and in the month that followed, I knew she suffered martyrdom. She used to wipe her eyes stealthily, and as she was not proud, I showed her some sympathy. “They ain't nice to me downstairs like you are, ma’am,” she sobbed, “though I'm doing my best. Cook says she won’t wipe up the dishes for the likes of me.” “Never mind, Muggins. You’ll be going soon, and, after all, you have learned a good deal here.” I consoled her. “I wish,” said Muggins. “I was dead.” —Mrs. John Lane, Harper’s Bazar, 1905


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Friday, June 26, 2020

The Etiquette of Asian Beauty Regimes

Victorian era view of a “Japanese belle” making her toilette — or as we know it today— she is engaging in her beauty regime.


Asian Women Spend an Astonishing Amount of Time Over Their Toilettes 
Compared to Their British and American Peers 

An eastern lady of high degree spends an amount of time over her toilet that would quite astonish the most fashionable society lady. First she has her hair dressed by her maid, who, after anointing the long, silky black locks with a little oil made from aloe wood or coconut, arranges it simply in a long, smooth plait, low on the nape of the neck, and decorated either with gold or jeweled ornaments. Next the bath is prepared as hot as it can be, and in this the lady may stay as long as two or three hours. 

Soaps are not used, but instead they are multifarious unguents, secret preparations of the bathing women, which render the skin soft as velvet and delicately perfumed. Oftentimes, the face is washed over with milk into which has been squeezed lemon juice. The hair of the oriental woman is usually beautifully long, soft and glossy, and the way they arrange it is invariably becoming to their soft type of beauty. Perfumes are much indulged in. These are introduced in the bath and permeate the garments, but are rarely used on a handkerchief. — Philadelphia North American, 1905



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Smile Etiquette

“Even in the Japanese culture, non-verbal expressions use the eyes more than the mouth, which makes it easier for the Japanese to determine if a smile is genuine or fake, smiling is still a way to show respect or to hide what you’re actually feeling. This is also the reason why Japanese emoticons used in texting and chatting on the Internet are often mostly expressed with the eyes than the mouth. - ^_^ - Japanese emoticon to express happiness, main focus on the eyes.” — Diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert Gabriella Kanyok 

Unique to Japan... A Land Where Laughter Has no Relation to Happiness?

File Under “More Unique Things About Japan”  


One English author and academic claims; “Perhaps one of the severest of etiquettes in Japan is that of smiles. When you have lived in that land of smiles, you will learn in time that when you can understand a Japanese smile, you may hope to understand the people. A daughter-in-law must always present a smiling face to her mother-in law; the servant must smile when his mistress dismisses him. But the news of a death must be told with laughter. Laughter is reserved for very special occasions and has no relation to joy. Smiles are used on every occasion to conceal real feelings. They are not always significant of pleasure. 

“No wants has the Japanese.” The same writer continues, “He can live in his clothes without a tent, he can live on rice or offal of the sea, and he is so accustomed to carrying heavy weights and running long distances that he can be his own commissariat and even his own horse.” If the Japanese are somewhat lax in regards their religion, they are at any rate, believers in cleanliness. The writer says: “Personal cleanliness is a virtue which all Japanese servants possess. It is no unusual thing for a Japanese servant to apologize to a mistress for not having had time to bathe more than three times that day.” — Weekly Journal, 1905



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Etiquette Regarding Servants

An early 19th century magazine advertisement for American maids’ outfits. —“A Housekeeper, a Lady’s Maid and a Head Nurse belong to the hierarchy of a household. A Lady’s Maid wears no cap and when in attendance on her Lady, is expected to be well, but quietly dressed, in black or some sober coloring. Her wages are from $150 to $200 a year, with the reversion of her employer’s wardrobe.” 

Servants in England 
There Are Fixed Forms of  Etiquette Governing Their Treatment

While mistresses and housemaids in this country are struggling to solve the vexed “servant problem” they do not appear to take into consideration the fixed forms of etiquette governing the treatment of servants in England, which probably do much toward promoting mutual understanding between the servants and the served over there. 

A Housekeeper, a Lady’s Maid and a Head Nurse belong to the hierarchy of a household. A Lady’s Maid wears no cap and when in attendance on her Lady, is expected to be well, but quietly dressed, in black or some sober coloring. Her wages are from $150 to $200 a year, with the reversion of her employer’s wardrobe. 

An English maid is always called by surname, “Smith” or “Jones,” but a foreign maid’s first name is used, “Marie” or “Françoise.” A Lady speaking of her maid to other upper servants, such as the Butler or the Housekeeper, would style her “Smith” or “Marie,” but when mentioning her to Housemaids or Footmen, she would he careful to allude to her as “Miss Smith” or “Mlle. Marie.”- New York American, 1905




Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia



Tuesday, June 23, 2020

19th C. Cuban Correspondence Etiquette

It is de rigueur on the envelopes of ceremonious notes, invitations, etc... ladies writing to gentlemen, or to each other, or gentlemen writing to each other, use B. L. M. —“Beso las manos” (I kiss the hands). Gentlemen writing to ladies use B.L.P. —“Beso los pies” (I kiss the feet). The compliment, of course, for the hands and feet of the party written to. 


Effusive Politeness Found in Cuban Society 
Use of Certain Initials on a Letter Envelope – An Effusive Form of Correspondence — Extravagantly Polite Speech – Gallantry on the Street

I received a letter a few days ago from a Cuban. On the upper left hand corner of the outside of the envelope were the initials B.L.P. Now, any one who has studied Spanish knows that B.L.M., or B.L.P., in a letter of extreme politeness and etiquette, are used at the close of a letter; but the use of these initials on the envelope I hardly think is so familiar to the general student of Spanish. 

This is very usual, both here in Cuba and in Spain, on letters of some ceremony, and it is de rigueur on the envelopes of ceremonious notes, invitations, etc... ladies writing to gentlemen, or to each other, or gentlemen writing to each other, use B. L. M. —“Beso las manos” (I kiss the hands). Gentlemen writing to ladies use B.L.P. —“Beso los pies” (I kiss the feet). The compliment, of course, for the hands and feet of the party written to. 

The many expressions of friendship, respect, etc., used at the close of the Spanish letter are not sufficient without the usual B.L.M. or B.L.P. The following exclusive form is much used in writing to a person even of very slight acquaintance: “With the sincerest professions of sympathy and friendship from her affectionate servant, who B.L.P.” (kisses her feet), etc. To use one set of initials for the other shows a great ignorance of the etiquettes and conveniences of society. A Cuban lady of my acquaintance received on her fete day the usual compliment of a visiting card under cover from a gentleman. On looking at the envelope, she threw up her head with a jerk and remarked that “one could easily see that that man did not know anything, or he never would have put B.L.M., instead of B.L.P., on an envelope sent to a lady.” 

I must acknowledge that I could not appreciate the nice difference. But after all on reflection, there certainly is some difference between B.L.M. and B.L.P., and it is only a matter of Spanish language taste, which is the most agreeable proceeding. This is only one of the very little polite nothings of this very polite people. On being presented to a stranger—if a lady—instead of the usual bow, more or less gracious of our country, there is a cordial shake of the hand, accompanied by an extravagantly polite speech expressing the very great happiness this meeting has caused, ending with an offer to you from the lady of her house. Which is, in other words, an invitation for you to visit her. 

A single man goes through the same style of complimental speech and concludes by telling you that he lives at such a number on such a street, and begs that if you need his services, you will call on him. Whether sincere or not, these little polite forms are the flowery adornments of speech, and help to make up the refinements and illusions of life, more or less agreeable, according to the view one takes of them. 

What would be received by an American woman as an impertinence, is received by a Cuban with a gracious smile and a “gracias,” said in a most pleasant tone of voice, as, for instance, on being helped into her carriage by a man who is a complete stranger to her. If a gentleman is passing on the street when a lady is about to enter her carriage—if no gentleman is with her—he hands her into her carriage. This is considered here only what a man who is a gentleman would do under such circumstances. Compliments are sometimes paid by gentlemen to ladies on the street, but are considered “bad style.”—Cuban Correspondent, New Orleans Times Democrat, 1887



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Old Sea Etiquette


Take, for instance, the beautiful custom so full of meaning of “saluting the deck.” The poop, or raised afterdeck, of a ship over which floated the national flag was considered to be always pervaded by the presence of the sovereign, and as the worshiper of whatever rank removes his hat upon entering a church so from the Admiral to the “powder monkey” every member of the ship’s company as he set foot upon the poop “saluted the deck” —the invisible presence.
——————
Pictured above, a “Powder Monkey”... “
Powder Monkeys” were critical in delivering gun powder from storage magazines to a cannon on deck. Too dangerous to have large amounts of powder on deck, it was preferable to have young boys, often only 12 or 14, perform this job and deliver the powder. They were efficient, due to their small size and speed. – Photo source, Pinterest



Customs Which Still Survive on Sailing Ships


Nothing is more loudly regretted by the praisers of old times than the gradual disappearance of etiquette under the stress and burden of these bustling days, and nowhere is the decay of etiquette more pronounced than at sea. Romance persists because until machinery can run itself, humanity must do so, and where men and women live, romance cannot die. But were it not for the Royal Navy, with its perfect discipline and unbroken traditions, etiquette at sea must without doubt perish entirely, and that soon. Such fragments of it as still survive in the merchant service are confined to sailing ships, those beautiful visions that are slowly disappearing one by one from off the face of the deep.

Take, for instance, the beautiful custom so full of meaning of “saluting the deck.” The poop, or raised afterdeck, of a ship over which floated the national flag was considered to be always pervaded by the presence of the sovereign, and as the worshiper of whatever rank removes his hat upon entering a church so from the Admiral to the “powder monkey” every member of the ship’s company as he set foot upon the poop “saluted the deck” —the invisible presence. As the division between men-of-war and merchantmen widened so the practice weakened in the latter, and only now survives in the rigidly enforced practice of every person below the rank of Captain or mate coming up on to the poop by the lee side. And among the officers the practice is also observed according to rank, for with the Captain on deck the chief mate takes the lee side. But since in steamers there is often no lee side, the custom in them has completely died out. 

To etiquette also belongs the strict observance of the rule in all vessels of tacking “sir” on to every reply to an officer, or the accepted synonym for his position to a tradesman who is a petty officer, as boss for boatswain, “chips” for carpenter, “sails” for sailmaker and “doctor” for cook. A woeful breach of etiquette is committed by the Captain, who coming on deck while one of his mates is carrying out some maneuver, takes upon himself to give orders direct to the men. It is seldom resented by junior officers for obvious reasons, but the Chief Mate would probably retire to another part of the vessel at once with the remark that it was “only one man’s work.”

In many cases, etiquette and discipline are so closely interwoven that it is hard to know where one leaves off and the other begins, but in all such cases observance is strictly enforced as being one of the few remaining means whereby even a simulacrum of discipline is maintained in under-manned and over-sparred sailing ships—such as the repetition of every order given by the hearer, the careful avoidance of any interference by one man with another’s work in the presence of an officer, and the preservation of each officer’s rightful attitude toward those under his charge and his superiors. Thus during the secular work of the day, work that is apart from handling the ship, the mate gives his orders to the boatswain who sees them carried out. Serious friction always arises when during any operation the mate comes between the boatswain and his gang, unless, as sometimes happens, the boatswain be hopelessly incompetent. 

In the private life of the ship, every officer’s berth is his house, sacred, inviolable, wherein none may enter without his invitation. And in case of serious dereliction of duty or disqualification it becomes his prison. “Go to your room, sir.” is a sentence generally equivalent to professional ruin, since a young officer’s future lies in the hollow of his commander’s hand. The saloon is free to officers only at meal times, not a common parlor wherein they may meet for chat and recreation, except in port with the Captain ashore. And as it is “aft” so in its degree is it “forrard.” In some ships the carpenter has a berth to himself and a workshop besides, into which none may enter under pain of his instant wrath— and “Chips” is not a man to be lightly offended. But in most cases all the petty officers berth together in an apartment called by courtesy the “halfdeck,” although, it seldom resembles in a remote degree the dingy, fetid hole that originally bore that name. 

Very dignified are the petty officers, gravely conscious of their dignity, and sternly set upon the due maintenance of their rightful status as the backbone of the ship’s company. Such a grave breach of etiquette as an “A.B.” entering their quarters, with or without invitation, is seldom heard of, and quite as infrequent are the occasions when an officer does so. In large ships, where six or seven apprentices are carried, an apartment in a house on deck is set apart for their sole occupation, and the general characteristic of such an abode is chaos—unless, indeed, there should be a senior apprentice of sufficient stability to preserve order, which there seldom is. These “boys’ houses” are bad places for a youngster fresh from school, unless a conscientious Captain or Chief Mate should happen to be at the head of affairs and make it his business to give an eye to the youngsters’ proceedings when off duty. Of course, etiquette may be looked for in vain here, unless it be the etiquette of “fagging” in its worse sense. 

The men’s quarters, always called the forecastle, even when a more humane shipowner than usual has relegated the forecastle proper to its rightful use as lockers for non-perishable stores and housed his men in a house on deck, is always divided longitudinally in half. The port or mate’s watch live on the port side, the starboard or second mate’s watch on the starboard side. To this rule there is no exception. And here we have etiquette in excelsis. Although the barrier between the two sides is usually of the flimsiest and often quite imaginary in effect, it is a wall of separation with gates guarded and barred. The visitor from one side to the other, whatever his excuse, approaches humbly, feeling ill at ease until made welcome. And from dock to dock it is an unheard of thing for any officer, save the Captain, to so much as look into the forecastle. Of course, exceptional circumstances do arise, as such as a general outbreak of recalcitrancy, but the occasion must be abnormal for such a breach of etiquette, to be made. Some Captains very wisely make it their duty to go the round of the ship each morning seeing that everything is as it should be, and these enter the forecastle as a part of their examination. But this is quite the exception to the general rule, and is always felt to be more or less of an infringement of immemorial right. 

In what must be called the social life of the forecastle, although it is commonly marked by an utter absence of social observances, there are several well defined rules of etiquette which persist in spite of all other changes. One must not lock his chest at sea. As soon as the last landsman has left the ship unlock the “donkey,” throw the key ostentatiously into the till, and, letting the lid fall, seat yourself upon it, and light your pipe. It is a Masonic sign of good fellowship, known and read of all men, that you are a “Sou’ Spainer” indeed, at home again. The first time that the newly assembled crew sit down gypsy fashion to a meal (for tables are seldom supplied) there may be one, usually a boy, who fails to remove his cap. Then does the nearest man’s hand seek the “bread barge” for a whole biscuit, generally of tile like texture and consistency. Grasping it by spreading his fingers all over its circumference, the mentor brings it down crushingly upon the covered head of the offender, who is thus initiated, as it were, to the fact that he must “show respect to his grub,” as the term goes. But often when the commons have been exceptionally short or bad, an old seaman will deliberately put on his cap again with the remark, “Taint wuth it.” 

If a man wants to smoke while a meal is in progress, let him go outside, unless he desires deliberately to raise a storm. And when on the first day of serving out stores a man has been induced to undertake the onerous duty of dividing to each one his weekly portion —“whacking out” —gross indeed must be his carelessness or unfairness before any sufferer will raise a protest. It used to be the practice to load the boys or ordinary seamen (a grade between “A. B.” and boy) with all the menial service of the forecastle, such as food fetching, washing up utensils, scrubbing, etc. But a juster and wiser plan has been borrowed from the navy, whereby each man takes in rotation a week as “cook of the mess.” He cooks nothing, the “doctor” will take care of that, but he is the servant of his house for that week, responsible for its due order and cleanliness. The boys are usually kept out of the forecastle altogether, and berthed with the petty officers, a plan which has with some advantages, grave drawbacks.

One curious old custom deserves passing notice. Upon a vessel’s arrival in ports where it is necessary to anchor, it is usual to set what is called an “anchor watch” the first night. All hands take part in this for one hour each, or should do so, but that sometimes there are too few and sometimes too many. As soon as the order is given to “pick for anchor watch” an old hand draws a rude circle on deck, which he subdivides into as many sections as there are men. Then one man retires while all the rest come forward and make each man his private mark in a section. When all have contributed the excluded one (whose mark been made for him by deputy) is called in and solemnly rubs out mark after mark, the first to be rubbed out giving its owner the first hour’s watch, and so on. —Frank T. Bullen, in The Spectator, 1899





Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber , is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia