Avoid Calls at Unseemly Hours

It is perfectly correct to offer a call or a cup of afternoon tea… That is if they arrive in the afternoon! — Never call at an hour when you will run the risk of embarrassing your hostess by so doing. Some women who have plenty of servants are especially inconsiderate about this when it comes to calling on women who have few or no servants.

Very narrow minded indeed is the man or woman who looks upon any rules of etiquette as arbitrary, to the extent that they are inlexible rulings that should apply to all alike To say that there are any definite hours when it is good form to call and hours when it is not good form to call is ridiculous. To the city woman, 4 o’clock is the time when she makes her first afternoon call. The woman in a smaller community calls as early as 3— perhaps earlier. That is because in cities people have later luncheon and later dinner and the later calling hour is therefore more convenient. In the country it would be in as bad form to call after 5:30 or 5:45 as it would be to call at 3 or 3:30 in the city where late dinner is the rule.

One thing remember, however, in paying calls. Never call at an hour when you will run the risk of embarrassing your hostess by so doing. Some women who have plenty of servants are especially inconsiderate about this when it comes to calling on women who have few or no servants. The woman who never has housework to do, does not realize just how difficult it is for her less opulent sister to be ready to receive callers in the morning or at an early afternoon hour. Therefore if she happens to be passing the home of her less well-to-do friend at 10 in the morning she drops in. It saves her the trouble of coming back in the afternoon. The hostess is clad in a pink gingham morning frock and her hair is tied about in a white duster. Her fingers dust stained are and a batch of war bread is in the oven. Perhaps the youngest member of the family has just been lifted from his morning bath and has to be left sprawling on a bath mat while mother answers the door. The hostess apologizes for her appearance and the caller assures her that it doesn’t make the least bit of difference. She even inti- rates that she enjoys breaking in on such a pretty domestic scene. But it does make a difference. The housewife has her own ideas of how callers should be received.

If you came about 3:30 in the afternoon would find her housework all done, she would be sitting neatly manicured, in knitting or a fresh lawn frock possibly mending, on her shady screened porch with the baby napping safely upstairs. In her icebox there would be a dish of iced fruit drink or possible the tea tray would be set ready for your possible call. “But I don't want the good woman to go to any pains for me.” the thoughtless caller might remark; “that is why I call in the morning.” As a matter of fact it is only fair to anyone to call when you think your call is going to give them most pleasure. In reality it is just as much a breach of etiquette to call on your humblest friend at a time when that call may prove embarrassing as it would be for a cabinet member's wife to call at the White House to see the President's wife at a time when that lady was not receiving.— By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1918

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia