Etiquette When a Young Man Calls

“When a gentleman acquaintance calls on a lady for the first time, presenting her with a box of candy and the parents are present at the time in the parlor, is it necessary to open the box and treat always?”

What Readers Ask: “When a gentleman acquaintance calls on a lady for the first time, presenting her with a box of candy and the parents are present at the time in the parlor, is it necessary to open the box and treat always? Is it necessary for the parents to meet the young man at his first calling? What would be most proper to say on the parents’ leaving?”

It is not positively necessary to open the box of candy and treat, but it is a courteous thing to do. The person who brings you the candy usually likes to see you enjoy it. To the second question, emphatically yes. The parents need not remain in the parlor or reception room throughout the call.

If they know the young man caller to be a suitable acquaintance for their daughter, they may leave, pleading the excuse of wishing to read, write a letter or something of that sort. If they do n not intend to return to the room again, the father or mother should express pleasure at having met the young man and the hope that they might meet again. If they simply adjourn to an adjoining room they need make no excuse, but when the young man leaves they should return to bid him goodnight.

A young man's first call should always be short, never exceeding three quarters of an hour. Remember that theoretically the parents of the young girl are the hosts when a young man calls, and not the young girl he calls upon. — By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia