Social Etiquette and Masked Messaging

Wearing face masks has become de rigueur Covid-19 etiquette for many around the world. They are being worn for one’s piece of mind, safety and health. But as Gabriella Kanyok explains, they can damage an important part of human communication. — This piece of textile covers half of our face, taking away what we have developed over centuries, our visual cues, which are part of our everyday interactions. By wearing a mask, our communication tool-kit is partially dwindled away. The movement of our lips, our facial expressions remain hidden. Our face as a whole is the gateway, which shows the reality of our feelings and mood, and is the focal point. With a global effort to defeat Covid-19, we have currently lost part of this focal point of that kind of communication, which only increases the distance between us, and slows down communication. These times, I would say, the mask protects us and alienates us at the same time.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Unless you’re wearing a mask, because then no one in the world can see you smiling, so they don’t smile with you, or if they do, you will never know it for sure. We don’t realize how many times we wear a smile a day: when we greet someone, when we express appreciation, when we like something, when we're embarrassed etc... Smiling is particularly important in the human gesture system. A smiling person makes a very positive impression and is extremely attractive. On the other hand, there are many different types of smiles, which are particularly important while interacting with each other.

Nowadays, we wear more often protective masks than our smile. This piece of textile covers half of our face, taking away what we have developed over centuries, our visual cues, which our part of our everyday interactions. By wearing a mask, our communication tool-kit is partially dwindled away. The movement of our lips, our facial expressions remain hidden.

Have you thought about that yet? Yet non-verbal cues play a central role in shaping our relationships, and right now, when we talk to someone, we don’t know how the other person feels, we can’t read his face, we don’t know what his intentions are. The eye is a mirror of the soul… but our eyes alone are not sufficient for the purpose. The movement of our eyebrows carries so many different meanings (confused, angry, surprised etc...), and shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

Our face as a whole is the gateway, which shows the reality of our feelings and mood, and is the focal point. We have currently lost part of this focal point of that kind of communication, which only increases the distance between us, and slows down communication. These times, I would say, the mask protects us and alienates us at the same time.

Furthermore, communication, and human to human interactions are not just transactional exchanges. The aim is to build relationships, and connect with each other, which is challenging these days. If the situation remains for months, then perhaps we need new, socially distanced non-verbal cues, otherwise how could we bring the message across? Will this be the new normal?

We don’t know it yet, but what we surely know is that currently we cannot rely on the non-verbal cues. What we could do is to clarify, and make sure that our messages are going across. 

Gabriella Kanyok is a diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert with more than 10 years' experience in working with EU institutes, NGOs, internaionalorganisations, and supporting professionals. She not only advises and trains government- and EU officials, and businessmen in the field of diplomatic protocol and business etiquette, but she leads the communication department of an international organisation. Gabriella holds a Master’s degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Protocol, Diplomacy and Cross Cultural Relations. She speaks Hungarian, English and French, and is currently learning Mandarin Chinese.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia